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Everyone says oh you're an angel for taking in your husbands aunt (shes87 dementia, misc problems) but I feel like s**t because I don't like her - how do I cope? My husband loves her and I agreed to let her live here - she follows me everywhere and talks nonstop repeating the same things over and over how do I cope? I know it is wrong to ignore her but it's my only coping mechanism right now - any thoughts?

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If your husband loves her so much let him stay with her all day. Would he do this for you if the situation were reversed? My guess is NO. He shouldn't expect this of you. Have A serious talk and consider assited living for auntie.
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Patience. And realize that it is just too much for you to take responsibility for. Dementia is progressive, it will not get better, it will get much worse. Now is the time to start looking for a community for aunt to move to. How much does your husband help you? The necessary care will very likely become too difficult very soon especially if you are now feeling the stress of caregiving. And that is nothing to be ashamed about, not many people can do it. Is there a day program that she could go to in your area so you get some respite? That may help you. And always remember if you are not taking care of your needs you will not be able to care for someone elses.
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