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My husband is in stage four of vascular dementia and all of a sudden is now telling me EVERYTHING to do and correcting me on everything. He tells me how to drive, slow down, speed up, etc. etc. It is driving me nuts! I haven’t heard of this being a symptom of dementia, but he has been a control freak before his diagnosis. Unfortunately, I am someone who detests being told what to do and he had learned this the hard way. Now, of course, he doesn’t remember. How do I cope?!

Consider the source. His brain is broken. He lives in his own world and imagines he’s someone he is not, living in a world that doesn’t exist outside his own mind. My mother talked constantly about being a famous actress on the New York Stage. What your husband was like in the past has little bearing on who he is now, except for the fact that you might be harboring a grudge from all those years of him being a “control freak”. I say this because my mom, who wouldn’t have uttered the word “sex” to save her own life was obsessed with it when she suffered with dementia. Admittedly, those thoughts may have lain dormant in her brain for decades, but they didn’t surface until she had dementia.

When he starts barking orders, agree that you will do as he says and then continue on the way you were.
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