I've asked a few questions on this forum, but I'm going to try to sum it all up.
First of all, let me say that my mother has never been a 'mother' to me or my four siblings. Since I can remember, she has been a hateful, jealous, selfish person who never spent time doing anything for, or with, her children. She only likes people who suck up to her. She has five grandchildren. The only one of them she ever liked was the one who was a con-artist with honey dripping from his forked tongue. Since my father's death almost 20 years ago, she gave this adult grandchild (and his mom) SO much money over the years it is unfathomable.
9 years ago, my mom was giving out inheritances. Everyone got a fairly large sum of cash except me. She asked me if I wanted cash or the 12 acres that remained of the farm I grew up on (since I was 5 y/o) and still live on. I'm now 52 y/o. I definitely wanted the property for sentimental and privacy reasons. She said, "It's yours."
Less than a year later, the fork-tongued grandson decided he wanted to live on the property. She let him put a trailer about 40 yards from my house. He laughed in my face and told me he was going to get the farm from her. He and his pregnant girlfriend terrorized me for several years, even turning my mom against me. I'll leave out the details, but they eventually had to move. My son now lives in the trailer with his family. The F-T grandson moved into his mom's rental property, and my mom moved into his basement. They continued to get money from her, although they did not check on her downstairs or do anything for her.
After my sister and I discovered the conditions my mom was living in (urine-soaked bed, feces on the floor, etc), I brought my mom to my house in January to live. I have lived alone for years, so it is an ongoing adjustment. I'm in college full-time in the nursing program. I will graduate in 1 year. My mom is incontinent, but the feces issue is over due to her eating good food now.
I have asked my siblings to take mom "for a day" to give me a break. I've had her for 6 months and no one has taken her even once. Of course, they all have lots of advice to give. One sister is accusing me of not doing anything for mom, and says that mom is "no problem for you."
I can barely handle mom now. The urine odor has permeated my home. I have to force her to take a shower and change clothes. She's very overweight, but keeps going to the store to buy junk food. She can drive to the store, but she does nothing in the house except make messes for me to clean up. She won't even put her plate in the sink when she gets up from the table. And, I know this sounds trivial, but she makes strange noises (intentionally) all the time, which is very annoying. I have NO peace in my own home. My concern is that one day I won't be able to take any more, and she'll have to go to a nursing home. The property is still not in my name, and I'm afraid I'll lose it to the nursing home. I don't know if I can stand this for 5 years.
All of my siblings have a lot more money than I do, but no one helps in any way. I feel like I have to keep mom here if I want to keep the property that should have been given when she gave everyone else their inheritance. If she were to live with anyone else, they would send her to a nursing home asap and have no problem with selling the property to pay for it. How do I continue to cope AND keep the land I've lived on my entire life? It isn't worth a lot of money, as most of it is flood plain. It's the sentimental value to me.