How to cope caring for father in law?

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My husbands mom passed april 16th and a day after her funeral his father (68) had a major stroke and lost his eye sight and has dementia. His parents had been divorced for over 15 years at that point. As the only child, my husband and I took him in. We had to cancle all upcoming jobs (we were self employed with a home improvement business) because I could not care for him on my own due to his hostility at times and had to call him home from work because I was overwhelmed with the situation. Doctors said his sight may come back so we hung in there. After 6 months the hope of him seeing again and him getting better went away after multiple more doctor visits. He still gets hostile at times when he does not get what he wants. He will rather argue how we should just give him his pee bucket he uses at night time rather than figuring out his way to the restroom that is a total of 10 steps from his recliner to nextdoor to the toilet. We can not leave him out of our sight 24/7 unless he is sleeping because he has broken several things around the house including his dresser he had in his room. My husband feels the need to be there for him even though their relationship has not been the best thruout the years to say the least.. we have been caring for him for 8 months that felt like years. This is the first time either one of us is caring for a elderly person and it has become much harder to deal with than we thaught... how do y'all deal with someone who is absolutely dependend on somebody to take care of him but yet acts so mean and respectless?

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Top Answer
He needs to be in a skilled nursing care facility. This level of care at home is impossible for a young couple trying make a living.
skilled nursing care - otherwise it will kill you, your husband, you will be broke
I am new to caregiving too. Just read some of the questions and threads on this site! The people on here have helped me with a lot by just reading about their experiences!

But your FIL needs more care than you and your husband can give him. And you aren’t able to make a living now! That can’t continue.

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