How to convince someone to use a commode?

Hi all
thank you so much brilliant ideas and I will try them all xx
(dad is 87 no formal diagnosis of dementia but social worker trying to get us to see their dementia specialist)
you guys are awesome thank you xxx

Try placing the commode OVER the toilet. Let him use it that way for a while. he will get the feel of it. Then move it back to where it will be safer for him to use.
If you can get it into his head that the toilet is broken right now and you have to use this.. We can fix the toilet in the morning. That might get him to use it closer to the bed.
Other option...Mom no longer helps dad to the bathroom after someone leaves. So if no one is there to help her he stays in bed. This will be difficult for both to get used to. But if the caregiver reminds him that once she/he is gone no one can move him and give him another opportunity to use the bathroom.
Try getting a room divider or you can hang a shower curtain up to give him more privacy that might help.

I think that innately, in our inner brains, we rebel at the thought of sitting on the 'toilet' within feet our our beds. I assume this is for bowel movements, since he's catheterized?

When I had foot/ankle surgery and was totally bedbound, the one thing the care facility told me was to get a commode and place it next to the bed.

Uh, no and no, no, no. My DH wouldn't even bring me a cold drink, how was I supposed to get him to empty a commode? No way. I worked out how to get to the bathroom and all we did was put a riser on the toilet seat. I was able to 'scooter' to the bathroom and while it was hard, it was preferable to the commode.

In your case, sounds like you may need to place gpa. CG's ge hurt trying to manuver their LO's and it's hard. When someone becomes bowel incontinent--I personally think that is a big game changer. Good Luck to you. My guess is that dad still 'gets it' that you don't poop in your bedroom.

Have you tried telling him that if he doesn't cooperate and use the commode that you and your mum will have no choice but to place him in a nursing facility? Perhaps the thought of that might be enough to scare him into using it, that is if he is competent enough to understand it.
You might also want to have the "night carer" come a little later and make sure that he/she puts him on the commode before they leave, giving him plenty of time to poop if he has to.
Something has to change before your mum really hurts herself trying to assist him. I hope you gets things figured out soon.

I don't think this is something you have any control over, especially since your mother seems to be willing to go along with it; I think your only strategy is to try to get her step back and to let him know she can't keep helping without hurting herself.

You don't mention in your profile how old your Dad is or whether he has dementia. This matters because with dementia you won't be "convincing" him of anything, instead there is mostly just adjustments in routines and environment. For instance, is it possible to have him sit on the commode as a regular part of his bedtime routine? Start his bedtime routine a little earlier so he can sit on the commode and relax, maybe give him something to read or look at, or a tablet...whatever may keep him calm and in place? Make sure he is comfortable (not too cold) while he's doing that. Maybe it's a privacy thing for him and if so, you may need to think of a solution, like putting up some sort of free-standing room partition/privacy screen or such.