She's stubborn and refuses to even think about it but can't take care of herself. Late stage ALZ.

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JoAnn, it's the OP himself who is scheduled to have knee surgery before long.

Excellent opportunity to place his mother in respite care and later allow the "temporary" move to carry forward indefinitely, I'd have thought... But it depends first of all on finding the right facility.
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*Late* stage Alzheimer's Disease? Really? As in the Alzheimer's Society's description? -

Severe Alzheimer's disease (late stage)

In the final stage of this disease, individuals lose the ability to respond to their environment, to carry on a conversation and, eventually, to control movement. They may still say words or phrases, but communicating pain becomes difficult. As memory and cognitive skills continue to worsen, significant personality changes may take place and individuals need extensive help with daily activities.

At this stage, individuals may:
Need round-the-clock assistance with daily activities and personal care
Lose awareness of recent experiences as well as of their surroundings
Experience changes in physical abilities, including the ability to walk, sit and, eventually, swallow
Have increasing difficulty communicating
Become vulnerable to infections, especially pneumonia

It actually doesn't matter, because the real point is that your mother is living in your home, you are in your sixties and burning out, and the time has come to move her into an environment where she can have the increasing support she will inevitably need.

Have you been to look at any facilities near where you live? Do you have an idea of where you would like to move your mother to?

Do you have power of attorney for your mother, or anything like it?
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Do you have POA? Can she be considered not to be able to make informed decisions? If so, then you can place her in an AL or LTC.

Who has suggested surgery on a 94 yr old woman with Dementia? She will need extensive rehab. Doesn't work if she can't take direction, remember what she was told or gets stubborn. Surgery will do no good if she doesn't or is not able to continue with the exercises. Then there is going under for a length of time. A person without dementia can have memory problems after being under its worse for a person with Dementia.

It will be hard to place her but you need to do this for yourself. She doesn't understand that you too are now a Senior. She still sees u as a child.
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