My father has always been stubborn when it came to going to the doctor when there was something wrong, it started this year with him having seizure due to alcoholism. Recently though his liver began to shut down he can’t move anywhere and has been sleeping on the the coach 12–15 hours a day, he’s not able to get up so he soils himself leaving my mother to clean it up. This has left a disgusting smell throughout the house, he needs to go to the hospital urgently or he will most likely die. We’ve begged him to go but all he does is deny and won’t even think about going. This has crushed my family and I, and I don’t now what to do.

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Helpful Answer (1)

So very sorry you are going through this.

Your Dad is ill, and I don't think you can convince him.

It has been said that 911 can be convincing, could you let them try?
Helpful Answer (0)

He is not able to get up.
Sleeps 12-15 hrs. a day.
Soils himself.

You have more power than you give yourself credit for.

He therefore cannot go to the store?
Remove Mother from the home so he cannot access alcohol.
When he has another seizure or delirium, call 911 and APS.
Helpful Answer (1)

Austin, Not being able to walk is common with liver failure. We had a family member die of cirrhosis last summer.

Is he swollen, retaining fluid? Is he weeping? (Fluids seeping out through his skin) Sleeping constantly is common too.

This is an extremely painful illness. With no pain killers, it must be horrible for him. Our LO was still in a world of pain while loaded up on pain killers.

I wish we'd known better, we would have had hospice take over.

The next thing that followed was kidney failure. She slipped into an unresponsive state, was put on life support. We kept her there, until everyone was able to come to her side. Tears flowed, good byes were said, then the machines were turned off. Our Angel passed 8/19/2017, she was only 40.

From beginning (when symptoms started showing) to end, was only one year. However, who knows how long the damage was happening in her liver.

Please take the advice of the other posters here and bring in hospice. Let him whine, protest and complain. Don't even tell him their coming. Once there, I'm sure he'll welcome some pain relief. Let him know Mom too, needs their help.

Best of luck & love Momma up.
Helpful Answer (4)

Austin, your post indicates that w/o hospital treatment, he's likely to die. The title of this thread indicates he is dying. I don't know much about liver failure, but I would think it is terminal, fairly quickly.

Your father doesn't want treatment, and even though it's traumatic for the family, you have to accept his wish. if the failure was diagnosed by a doctor, I think the issue would be the best method of handling his care for the time that he has left.

I think Eyerishlass's suggestion to get an assessment of his condition and plan from there is a good approach. If that requires some duplicity to get EMS to take him, so be it. But your family is entitled to know what a medical assessment would reveal, and then make plans accordingly. And he's entitled to die sooner rather than later if that's his wish.

Mom and Jeanne also make good points about the value of having hospice in the home, and that could help provide relief for your mother and the rest of the family.

The hospital to which he's taken may even have a hospice service on the premises.

I'm sorry for the pain and anguish this is creating for your family.
Helpful Answer (2)

Have you considered calling 911? My mom refused to get out of bed but when she did, to use the bathroom, she'd fall because she'd grown so weak from being in bed. My dad would call me and I'd rush over there and scrape her off the floor. She needed to go to the hospital but she refused. One night, after she had fallen again and I rushed over there again, I feigned illness saying I had the flu and was weak and was unable to get her up. The only option was to call 911 so that's what I did. They asked her some questions to determine her mental state and were satisfied that she needed medical attention and they took her to the ER.

Try 911. Or try threatening to call 911 if your dad continues to refuse to seek medical attention. It's true that as competent adults we get to choose if we want medical assistance or not but liver disease or a fatty liver can cause dementia-like symptoms as can end-stage alcoholism. It may not be obvious to you but the paramedics can determine if your dad is competent enough to refuse medical care.

If you can get your dad to the hospital the doctor's can figure out exactly what his state of health is and if they think it's appropriate, help get you set up with hospice either at home or in a facility. 
Helpful Answer (3)

I am so sorry for the misery your family is in.

Bringing in Hospice might give you and your mother and possibly even your father some comfort. It will also make it much easier for you to deal with the practical details if he does die at home. You only have to call hospice and they will see that everything is handled appropriately.
Helpful Answer (2)

I am so sorry Austin.
As you probably know if a person is not deemed incompetent they can’t be forced to seek medical care against their will.
Is your father of an age as to have Medicare or Medicaid insurance? If so, perhaps you could contact hospice to come to your house to help your dad and your mom. They could evaluate his condition right there on the couch and try to make him more comfortable and provide a few hours care in order for your mom to have rest and support.
Helpful Answer (3)

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