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I understand it is now impossible to see his Doctor due to the corona virus, but when the ban is lifted our loved one has lost all bowel and urinary control. I wanted him to see him previously but he refused to go. I am his POA as well as his family. The social worker says he has the right to refuse and is in sound mind. And then she calls us because he doesn't want to take his pills and is medicated to the point of laying 24/7 day after day like a sardine in bed. This is inhumane. What do I do? Do I need a lawyer since the ombudperson said they can't enforce anything. I just want what he would want if he were in his right mind.

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You can transfer him to another facility. But I guess that will be hard noe. Get his primary involved. These places are not prisons. The facility doctor, since this is short term, he should be consulting with his primary. Nurses should be following Dr. orders. If its not in the care plan, they shouldn't be doing it. Maybe the State should get involved.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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He was going to PT. It is over with. 2 weeks thats it! Only if his doctor wants it. Lying on a cot in the dark without tv, phone, nothing, is inhuman.
Cant eat, only drink and he wants to get well so bad! They intimidate him to say NO he doesn't want to go to the doctor because he tells us he does.
He said they kept harassing him over and over again until he said yes to take the drugs. I had to write a letting stating HE and his POA does not want psych drugs or legal action will happen. YES he is being abused. YES the food is not fit for my dog. YES. he lies 24/7 on a cot sometimes they don't even change him. I can't help him since it is on lockdown. AND he is supposed to get a supplemental drink from day 1 and he never received ONE DRINK! They told me this. I asked why? It was because we were buying him ensure,

We want him home to live out his life.
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He went in and was able to walk, talk, and eat and drink solid food and GO TO THE bathroom. NOW he lies there 24/7 and lost control of his bowels, cannot walk, cannot eat solids, only drinks ensure, cannot talk normal and does not stand. they have discontinued his Physical therapy due to 2 weeks only are paid, they haven't given him supplemental drinks from day 1 and I have his meds which state he was to get it 3 times a day. His new phone won't charge and he wants it charged. I bought 3 chargers and they will not help him charge it. He was healthy and is dying. HE WAS NOT THAT SICK when we brought him there, He was to just gain weight. They went behind our back put him on psych drugs that fried his brain. When we talk to him he says YES, he dosn't want to go to the bathroom in a diaper. He WANTS TO GET WELL. He is only 59 and was healthy 2 months ago, This facility wants to keep him for the money. Even the nurses shake there heads, but their hands are tied.

NO tv, no phone, no decent food, no ensure (he was supposed to receive it 3 x days. Social worker is the devil incarnate. He wanted to go home and she kept saying tell her no, you don't want to leave. His doctor wants to see him. she said he might have a very serious infection. What kind of life is suffering 24/7 in the dark and sleeping 24/7 and out of it? PEOPLE IN JAIL have it better than him.

That is why he gave us the medical power of attorney to help him when he is unable to help himself.

Someone said if the doctor can't help us we will have to get a lawyer.
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59 is so young to be going through all this :(
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Reply to HelloImMinsu
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If he hasn't been declared incompetent, he is the one who is driving the bus, so to speak.

Unless you gain guardianship, you cannot force care on him.

What is he is rehab for? Did he have surgery? Anesthesia can often cause dementia to progress rapidly.

What kind of psych meds are they giving him? Are they for agitation, depression, acting out behaviors?
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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willow55 Mar 25, 2020
He was over dosed with phenobarbital at the hospital. He was not able to function. I guess that means he was incompetent. BUT the nursing home said he was competent to say no when we want to take him to the doctor. I could hear them saying tell her no.

He was not acting out, he was sleeping coming off of the phenobarbital. He was getting so well after only two weeks. He knew everyone and was eating beef sandwiches and just needed therapy to strengthen his leg muscles.

Now it is terrible and he looks like someone in a concentration camp.
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unfortunately, as in my case regarding sis with dementia and non care received at last facility, sis and I were unable to change the way sis was treated by staff. constant messages to Admin, nursing manager the entire system about care concerns/aka neglect. I am her POA. We did get a letter from her doctor before she came to live in my state-stating sis was unable to make health care or financial decisions for herself. Brother who is financial POA needed the letter to be able to handle her out of state retirement benefits pay off her bills, file taxes etc.

I have not needed to use this paper so far-but definitely was an uphill battle to get signed up as her "representative" regarding. health care plan, viewing insurance claims, changing her address to mine so mail would be received and dealt with promptly. Sis is compliant with meds, with a few exceptions months ago, before she was hospitalized due to extreme agitation and trying to escape community. It has been uphill battle to keep last facility from over medicating they caused endless problems regarding RX changes that were approved by me and her neurology team. Neurology staff told me the nurse was impossible on the phone when they told facility nurse "we don't want the resident to be over medicated. period. I am thankful for doctor and team supporting me and giving much needed back up against impossible odds at last facility. Same nurse was pure evil reporting me as yelling at her and hanging up the phone. I have everything to loose by doing such a thing in the first place-knowing the first thing they would do is hurt/neglect my sister to get back at me.
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Reply to medicaidmaze20
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willow55 Mar 25, 2020
Thank you for your response. YOU have gone thru the nightmare I am going thru. They are doing video conferencing tomorrow. His doctor said she will want to see him in person April 1st. He did agree in front of an administrator to go home and see her. Papers were to be drawn up. BUT what if he is coaxed to say no again? Can the doctor say he is incompetent to make those decisions by talking to him and help us get him there?

This is so terrifying. Prisoners are in better conditions than he is.
As I wrote he went in to gain weight. They put him on psych drugs, we stopped them immediately but the damage was done. He wouldn't eat, hardly drink anything, lays in bed, lost bowel and urinary control, no physical therapy given since it was only for 2 weeks, they will not fix his phone after I asked them more than 12 times. They are supposed to give him a supplement drink. Nothing from day 1. We buy the ensure. 24/7 lying on a cot is inhuman.

The social worker is a devil incarnate. Lies.

When he first got there, everyone seemed so nice and then they changed when we seen what they were trying to do. To sabotage him from getting well.

They wanted the monthly paycheck and he would never get out unless we get a lawyer.

They intimidate him to say no he doesn't want to go to doctor, but I called during lunch and so did his brother and we got him to say what he truly wanted, which was he wanted to see his doctor and go home.

I see they also played that game of yelling and hanging up, but mine was a pretend yelling, which I wasn't at all, the nurses told me I wasn't, and then I wasn't even talking, and she was still saying I was yelling!

Omnbuds person was no help either. If they get paid for doing this, then that job should be eliminated. I told her his phone didn't work, they sent her to someone else, because he said he never talked to her. I told her he isn't getting physical therapy, the person that was on the phone said yes I get physical therapy. I told that to her and she never called me back.

Something needs to change. I guess if getting him going to the doctor doesn't get him out of there, we will be getting a lawyer involved or a letter from his doctor.

Your response really helped me.
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On what basis is SW saying  dad is in sound mind?  Has dad had neuro/psch eval?
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Reply to FloridaDD
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Agree with Barb. Ask about hospice evaluation. Not taking meds, maybe he is just ready.
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Reply to gladimhere
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Willow, do you feel the SW is being abusive to you or to your loved one?

If your loved one doesnt want to see a doctor or take pills, that is his right. You can't care more about his situation than he does himself.

Have you asked the SW to obtain a hospice evaluation?
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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willow55 Mar 22, 2020
Hi, He is supposed to be in recovery. After the nursing home gave him psych meds when we said no, he lost his feelings and is in a diaper. I want to get him to the doctor so he can get a physical therapy script, check his medication to make sure they are not giving him anything we do not know about and to stimulate his muscles to help him feel bowel movements so he doesn't need to be in a diaper. I don't know if he is drugged where he doesn't care. But from what you are saying is if he doesn't want to go he is in charge, even if they have him in lockdown and he is monitored 24/7?
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