Follow
Share

I do not have a caregiver because I can get around pretty well myself. My family lives far away. They call, but are of no help here at home. I am starting to worry about showering alone, have some dizziness. My food is delivered from the grocery near by. Things are not going to get better, so I want suggestions about keeping hair and body clean, safely! Also, how to grow older 'gracefully' with some sense of dignity. I have a friend, we live miles apart, but she has many of the same concerns, We cannot live together (it's too complicated to explain). She is in her early 80's. The humor group on here may be of some help! :) A pick me up!

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Hi winniebe -

I found a couple of websites that talk about aging gracefully and tips on how to maintain your health. The biggest factor of aging gracefully is good health, and the keys to good health are exercise and good diet.

Here are the links to the websites.

https://www.success.com/your-self-care-guide-to-aging-gracefully/

https://sixtyandme.com/how-to-easily-get-help-when-caring-for-yourself-as-an-aging-woman/
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Also, I have some suggestions on showering safely. These are what I have for my mother.

A shower chair so you can sit in the tub.
A non slip mat to put on the floor of the tub.
A handheld shower head so you clean yourself well.
Grab bars in and around the tub and bathroom where you hands naturally reach for support.
A non slip bath mat.

Recently, there's a thread that discusses modifications/additions to the home to help aging parents stay in place safely. I'll look for it. If I find it, I'll post a link.

I'm sure other posters will have more suggestions for you.
Helpful Answer (12)
Report
ArtistDaughter Oct 2020
Exactly what I was going to say.
(2)
Report
I so agree with Polar Bear that the key is health.
Age is really almost irrelevant these days. I am 78 and my partner is 80 and we are both very active and pro-active. I would say that the biggest thing I notice with aging is that those friends who stay physically active stay more well. As a nurse I knew early on when I had 80 year old patients put on "bedrest" by their doctors, that not moving around was actually "feared"; they would say "I have to move or I won't be ABLE to move".
So keep walking. Exercise both "balance exercises" and strength (my partner keeps at it with archery). Exercise wonderful for the bones, ligaments and muscles, joints, digestion--for EVERYTHING. Wear good footwear. Be careful with stairs.
You mention "dizziness". That's not really "normal" at almost any age, so check it out with your doctor. Sometimes when we are older we go into office, get high blood pressure reading, get doled out a mess of blood pressure pill, and when home our pressure returns to normal, then LOWER than normal and dizziness is the result. I take meds for chronic atrial fib for more than two decades, so I take my own pressure twice daily because of a medication I have to take.
Friends are a wonderful support as well as a joy to have. So whether through a church group if you are a believer, or a club if you read or knit, or a senior center, try to stay engaged, share, and share in times of need what you can give/what you may receive. There is a senior center near me that serves lunch. Not for me but friends go just for companionship.
I walk, garden, read, visit (when covid isn't about), do "social media" like this, and any number of other things. We foster to place dogs now, having lost the last of our elder dogs, and not wanting to burden children with any in future. We occ. babysit for neighbors dogs; keeps you walking.
I can't know what assets you have saved, but if we do live so long then ALF can be the way to go for companionship, safety and help in future. There are the "Village" groups, if you are familiar with them, and near a city big enough to have them, which provide support.
Good luck. I think you are doing the thinking about all of this that we ALL do. That is to say, next time the toilet needs replacing I will get the taller model!
Helpful Answer (13)
Report

Dear "winniebe,"

That's great that you are seeking advice now in order to prepare for your future of trying to take care of yourself.

Along with "polarbear's" many helpful suggestions you may want to peruse AgingCare's site on all kinds of topics by going to the top of this page and clicking on "care topics" located on the bluish/teal bar. Everything is by alphabetical order so you could read either articles on bathing/showering for example and it will also direct you to discussions that have been done on the topic of your choosing from other forum members.

Hopefully, you will find some helpful tips there as well as other people who will be commenting.

Best wishes to you!
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

My 1st step would be to see a doctor and find out why I am having dizzy spells. This is not normal aging and should be checked out.

If your doctor will, have them write a prescription for some occupational therapy and they will help you modify your home to make it safer for you as you age. Be honest and ask them specifically for what you are looking for, they are pretty amazing at seeing hidden dangers.

Polar bears information is spot on and addresses some of the issues that an OT will address.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Hi Winnie
Your question is such a good one. I have so much I would like to share with you on the subject. I find it difficult to net it out but I will try.
Read the book “Being Mortal, Medicine and What Matters in the End” by Atul Gawande.
Its not going to talk about baths but will help give you an overview of aging in the US and some scenarios of seniors and decisions they made that Dr Gawande uses to help us ferrett out what’s important to our aging loved ones.
Look Up IADLs and ADLs. These are the Instrumental Activities of Daily Living and then Activities of Daily Living that the various medical entities use to determine how well a person is functioning. The IADLs are necessary to live independently in the community. Many elders think they are living independently when actually they are dependent on caregivers to maintain that status. That’s an important distinction for anyone wanting to age in place.

The health issues you mention need to be addressed with your primary doctor. While you do that, ask for an occupational and/or physical therapist to come to your home for an evaluation. Your insurance should cover this cost depending on whether you have a traditional or Medicare advantage plan.

Make life as simple and automatic as possible with your auto draft bill paying, to the grocery deliveries, to a geriatric primary doc., a good housekeeper, a gardener, a pharmacy that delivers. All services that are necessary to keep your life humming along.

Downsize and edit your belongings with an eye out for safety and ease of maintenance.

Also contact your Area Agency on Aging. Each county has one. See what services you might qualify for now or in the future. You can look over their website for general information.

Check out a medical alert system.

Last I would suggest a visit to a certified elder attorney well versed in Medicaid rules for your state. Make sure all your medical and financial paperwork is in good order, your end of life plans made. Choose wisely on your POA for finances and medical. If you made your documents up years ago, be sure to double check them to make sure they are all still in good order and that your agents are still the right choice for you.

As you wisely noted, it’s not going to get better. It will never be as easy as it is now to take action.
Helpful Answer (11)
Report

First, try to carefully and thoroughly study to find out why you are having dizziness.Dizziness is definitely not a sign of aging. Could something you are or are not doing be causing dizziness?Perhaps, some undiagnosed health condition is causing it. On the other hand, perhaps a medicine and or medicines could be causing it. Obviously, a person with any bouts of dizziness of any kind cannot safely manage without at least some daily help.Severe vitamin and or mineral deficiencies cause dizziness and other nervous system problems.You need a very caring and competent doctor to help you find out what the problem is. I am 86, healthystrong, med free, and pain free, and thankfully dizziness free.I was working full time until age 73 and feeling strong and well in every way.I believe my healthy diet of lots of daily home grown and or organic berries, fruits, and veggies plus daily olive oil, minced garlic, and apple cider vinegar along with daily whole eggs and whole milk preserved and protected my health. However, I also threw away prescriptions for lipitor, vicodin, thiazide, and fosomax without ever filling them.Statins and diuretics drain nutrients from the body and definitely could cause dizziness.Some beta blockers also can cause dizziness. May God bless you and guide you to excellent diagnoses and help.
Helpful Answer (7)
Report
Screennamed Oct 2020
Your 86 years illustrated in your post, shows an insight that many will benefit from. Most aren't provided insight into dangers of popular prescriptions, such as statins, which are liver killers,
I had a co-worker [doctor M.D.] who said he had failed to recognize a patient's statin direct drug interaction DDI, Later, he said he who prescribed statins, based on "junk," a pharmaceutical company sent him.

The "pharma database" would cite one-liners from research articles, pulling sentences out of context, to justify utilization (prescriptions) of statins--> his wording used, He said he changed his perspective, when he was prescribed a statin, by his doc. The effects he experienced ended-up being a "very educational experience."
(1)
Report
I am 71 and at this point no major health problems. I worked as a secretary for our local Visiting Nurses. I was in charge of our durable equipment loan closet so I will give you a few tips.

If dizzy, have a shower chair in the tub. A light weight one with a back. Buy a hand held shower head. If you can afford it, have bars installed in the bathtub/shower. If not and the surface is smooth, you can get temporary suction bars. If tile the suction surface has to be on the smooth part of the tile. Some members don't recommend them. I had a man pull on them for me and they did not come off the wall. For my friend, I went to the dollar store. They had soap dishes and cup/tooth brush holders with suction cups. I put them on the same level as her shower chair. The toothbrush holder held her shaver and bottle of shampoo. She had a hard time getting up from her toilet. I put a commode over the toilet. The back bar screws off so can easily slide over the toilet. I got her a splash guard that takes place of the bucket. The commode can be adjusted for height and you have arms to help you boost yourself up and the legs for stability.

I would call your County Office of Aging and ask if they can evaluate you and your home. There maybe be grants that would help you and resources.

I agree, dizzyness is not normal. You need to get a good physical labs and all.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

I think you are being very proactive with your future. There are many good tips here but I am wondering whether you might consider moving closer to your family. You might need temporary help with a short term problem or more supervision as you age. Or look into aging communities. Not the kind where you give them all your money, but the kind that are like communes.

I am 67 and my husband is 70. We are healthy and mobile. But having just gone thru several years of dealing with his parents, we are in the process of purging our house and moving closer to our daughter. Not super close yet. But a 4 hour drive versus a 2200 mile trip. We have assets to care for ourselves but I would like to see her more often. My son is currently living abroad.

My husband is not very social but we might consider an aging community in the next 10 years as well. I think being able to socialize is part of good health.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report
JoAnn29 Oct 2020
Is your daughter all for the move? Does she work? Is she willing to help when the time comes? My Mom had 3 children, one only 30 min away but I did it all.
(4)
Report
See 1 more reply
Maybe call your friend when you are getting in shower and getting out and she can do same for you. If she doesn’t get call back she will know you are in trouble and call 911 for you. Better than laying on floor for days
Helpful Answer (9)
Report

All good advice. As Polarbear said, diet is a biggie.

The ketogenic diet has helped improve the metabolism of many people. Consider researching it. You might find it helpful.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Great question. Great advice. Thank you for asking. We all have to face this reality at some point.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

What a great question! I was the caregiver for both my Mom and husband, both gone now. Although I’m only 59 years young, it made me really think of my future.
After caring for both of them I changed my diet for the better, went Keto/low carb, got away from allopathic sick care and take zero prescriptions. Get plenty of excerise both mentally and physically and have been getting ready to downsize.
Im lucky to have gained so much experience as I know what will be needed and am working to having things in place, before they are needed.
My daughter lives abroad, so basically I am not counting on her help and am on my own.
I have two friends in their mid 80’s who are in complete denial that they need help and refuse to make any changes to make their lives easier and think I’m nuts for planning ahead I see this a few ways, ignorance is bliss and that in these crazy times you can not afford not to prepare. I’m going with the latter.
Like walk in showers with seating, raised toilets, stair less homes or condos you get the idea. I’m doing what I can afford now rather than wait, so when I hit those golden years I can sit back, relax and enjoy them.
Helpful Answer (7)
Report
Screennamed Oct 2020
Diet is the most under-recognized factor in our lives, we've been programmed to rely on others for our "food," supply which has had catastrophic results.
(2)
Report
Keep in touch with life
Join a church, group or organization. Take a class in something you like. Make new friends. Live like never before. Network do online things. Volunteer to help others. Make the best of each day.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
LakeErie Oct 2020
Most of these things are closed due to virus.
(4)
Report
Others have shared very good ideas on shower safety like sturdy grab bars, low entry, hand held shower head and shower stool. I know these things are expensive but it's worth it.

And don't get the suction cup grab bars. They are not strong enough. There's no point having a grab bar that won't hold your weight.

One thing my dad had that made him feel better was an emergency button. He lived in a facility that provided the button. But i think you can get a service to provide this at home. Then if you fall you can call for help.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Shower chair and seeing Dr are first steps as others. said. Plus reading up.
I would add... Get a good fall detection bracklet or necklace. Phillips worked well for my mom. She fell and it alerted 911 and I was just in the yard a few minutes. And it alerted me inside, when she fell getting her mail. She would not have told me.
Just Push button.. .. No. You have to be able to push for help. Fall detection is worth it for your independence and safety.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
Mary9999 Oct 2020
There is a free service called Snug Safely I've learned of. They have an informative website. You check in (by using the app on your smart phone) within a 10-minute period daily. (You set which 10-minute period.) If you don't check in, they text your emergency contact. They also have a service that was $9.99 a month or $99.00 a year, that will contact a list you've set, including medical personnel, etc. From what I've read, it's legitimate. I'm signing up for the free service, so far, although for seniors living alone, the paid plan is probably well worth it.
(1)
Report
I still consider 70 pretty young... :-) I have coworkers that are almost 70.

You don't mention what your health issues are.  Have you talked with your doctor about the dizziness?  There are senior apartment communities and there is always assisted living.  The senior apartment communities are not so ridiculously priced like assisted living is, but with either of those, you would have more opportunity for socialization and friendships.  Friends in the same boat tend to look out for one another and that is always helpful.  Both of those living situations are typically set up with widened doorways to accommodate the width of wheelchairs and walkers.  They are also built with grab bars in the bathrooms/showers....etc.  I think the key is to not keep yourself isolated.  Declutter your home...get rid of all the excess so that you have less to clean and less stuff to maneuver around which could be a tripping hazard.  See if there is a senior community center near by.  Many of those centers can arrange transportation.   Having somewhere to go and something to do gives you purpose and a schedule and I always find that helpful. 

Take care Winniebe.
Helpful Answer (8)
Report

Ok, remember that unless you are involved in some dirty activity you probably only need to take a shower or bath - once a week; that probably includes your hair. I have stool by my bathroom sink and I do sink bath in between my shower; Although that I don't do daily. My face, and teeth are done daily.

Growing old gracefully. in my mind; means doing exactly what you are doing -- making choices about what you can and can't do and making changes in our life before they are forced on us.
Helpful Answer (13)
Report

Please remember that one person cannot do it all! You must have a network of family/ paid caregivers to rely on.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Exercise everyday, eat healthy, take vitamin D with K1 & K2 from "Innate Response." I take this one everyday. Shower everyday, get some essential oils
and a pet(dog or cat) and keep a network of friends and people who can do things for you. People who can help you. Get your hair done, smell good, feel good.
Age is just a number. Yoga and pool exercising is great to lift your spirits to want
to take care of yourself more plus you socialize.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
jacobsonbob Oct 2020
Having a dog or cat adds an extra responsibility that makes life more complicated (and that's assuming a person actually wants one). It's an inconvenience when one wants to travel. However, I guess if one is essentially a "stay at home" person then it's less of a problem.
(2)
Report
See 1 more reply
Use a shower chair and get grab bars installed for your shower. may want to hire someone to install the grab bars for you. You may want to invest in Life Alert or other alarm system if you fall you can press a button. I'm glad I do not have kids. They are mostly of no use. If you do not have a pet, keep it that way. They can become a trip hazard. Also keep your house uncluttered.

If things get so bad you may want to sell your house and use those proceeds to help with assisted living facility.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report
Bridger46146 Oct 2020
Great that you mentioned not having a pet. Just something else to take care of.
(4)
Report
See 1 more reply
If you have the funds, contact your local agency on aging and maybe they can help in finding someone to come and put in safety grab bars in your shower area, get rid of throw rugs (causes falls), can you afford to have a caregiver come in 3 times a week to help you bath/shower your hair, etc.  Its good to hear that you are thinking of keeping yourself safe.  Also if you are having some dizziness issues, maybe speak with your doctor to make sure something else not happening.  Of course as we age, we do lose some balance so try to do some kind of exercises also to keep your balance.  I am sure you can "google" about balancing exercises for the elderly.  Wishing you luck.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Use a Shower Chair and have hold on bars installed in your shower to steady yourself.

You should deffiently have a Call button installed in the bathroom and wear a First Alert in case you do fall you'll have a button to push for help.

As far as your dizziness goes, you should check with your Dr first as it could be just water or ear wax that is the culprit.
You should also be taking a one a day vitamin as my Dr just told me because my blood test showed I was low in iron and I was having dizziness. Also drink plenty of fluids, like 8 glasses but it can include milk, coffee, tea, ect as I find it hard to drink that much water.

Also, dremamimine, the pills you take fir sea sickness can help with the dizziness.

Juse get a check up first to see if there is an underlying problem.

I just bought a nice wood shower chair but there are less ecoensive plastic molded ones for sell at Walmart or any medical supply place.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

There's a wealth of information here but I'll add a few things that helped with both my husband and my Mom:

Chair height toilets
Toilet safety rails - this is free standing, goes around the toilet (looks like a walker with no wheels). It also helps in the shower around a shower chair
Life Alert necklace with a fall sensor
Dry shampoo and body wipes or foaming cleaner - for between showers
I put chairs in spots that they would get winded, so they could stop and sit for a few minutes
Recliner/lift chairs

Being alone, do you have a group of friends or family members who could phone you every day at a certain time? My friend has a "round-robin" sort of telephone system in place with a group of friends who check on each other daily.

Obviously, maintaining good health is the best way to age gracefully but alot of these suggestions are also helpful for anyone facing surgery or recovering from an illness.

Best wishes!
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

I’m in my early seventies and live alone. Doing relatively well and my POA lives a few miles away, works every day, but class almost everyday. I do get dizzy once in a while - ususally it’s low blood pressure because I’ve become dehydrated.

I installed grab bars and have a shower seat. I keep lots of nutrition shakes on hand in case I don’t feel up to cooking. I wash hair once a week, and with the pandemic, not getting out means sponge baths instead of showering sometimes.

Having a cuff-type blood pressure monitor on hand is helpful, as I check blood pressure now and then, especially if I’m dizzy. Sure enough, it’s too low when dizziness starts. Drinking water and eating something salty (helps retain fluid when fluid is needed) usually brings my blood pressure back up.

if you have to walk to a mailbox, ask your doctor to write a note that indicates you’re a fall risk. Take it to the post office and they’ll deliver your mail to your door (you’ll need a mail receptacle mounted near door, but you won’t have to risk falling - especially if you get ice and snow - to go out for mail.

If possible, arrange with a neighbor some type of daily visible signal that conveys you’re up and around (as raising a window shade, turn on outdoor light, etc). Ask neighbor to check on you when signal isn’t given.

Also, keep your cell phone within reach when showering and in a pocket while you’re walking around your house. I have an I-phone and my Apple I-watch detects movement indicating a possible fall. It’ll call 911 if you don’t respond to the phone’s text. Make sure your phone plan includes your watch’s capability to call out.

If you you can afford it, a move to a continuous care community will greatly assist you. You’re at the average age to start off with independent living in such a community.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
jacobsonbob Oct 2020
When my grandfather was living alone (in his mid-80's) he and a neighbor had an agreement that the bedroom shade would be down at night, and he would raise it when he got up. (However, he forgot to raise it one day, and then--true to form--he got a bit irritated when she came over to check on him!)
(6)
Report
A lot of times dizziness has to do with changes in positions: getting up from bed, getting up from a chair... especially if you take blood pressure medications. The deal with blood measure medications is that they keep your heart from reacting as quickly to a need for a "push" of more blood to the brain during those moments. The best advice I can give (I am an RN), is to change positions slowly and have something to hold onto until the light-headedness passes. In the shower, you might want to consider getting a shower chair - the one with arms and a back - so you can comfortable sit while bathing. The plastic chairs are easier to keep clean and can easily be sprayed with your shower cleaner products. A handheld shower attachment makes it easier to rinse off - we've been using ones for decades (I'm in my 50's). Try to get one that allows you to "pause" the water flow while you are soaping up.

A lot of older people think they can bathe less often since they sweat less, but body microorganisms continue to grow and thrive on the skin. They need to be cleansed off regularly. Same goes for cleaning the hair. Use mild soaps or body washes DAILY (I use St. Ives Oatmeal with Shea) since they don't dry the skin out as much. Wash hair 2-3 times a week with mild shampoo and don't forget conditioner. After drying off, apply a mild body lotion to keep your skin soft and supple.

If you find you are having a lot of dizziness episodes, please consult your doctor. He/she can make sure your medications are not causing problems or address anything other condition that may be causing this.
Helpful Answer (7)
Report
jacobsonbob Oct 2020
Bathing every day is probably a bit excessive (unless you are engaged in activity that causes much perspiration or simply causes you to get dirty or have some issue with your skin). The skin has beneficial microflora and excessive bathing tends to remove essential oils, etc. In addition, daily bathing increases the opportunity for falls.

Care facilities typically only bathe the residents twice a week.
(9)
Report
Lots of good ideas here. My only suggestion is a shower bench, instead of a shower chair, along with grab bars, if your bathroom has room.
I am 72, like my 92 year old Mom says, getting older aint for sissies!
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Great getting grocery delivery is great. You can have everything delivered from Costco, Drug Stores, Liquor and Amazon, etc. Learn how to use online deliver, Instacart, and while you can curbside pickup is wonderful and less expensive. Find a good trusted house cleaner to come in minimum twice a month. Learn how to use the apps for Uber and Lyft on your phone so that when it comes time to give up your car you are ready. Young kids in neighborhood may help and earn money with bringing groceries in, dog walking, short errands. Make your house as safe as you can, get rid of clutter, trip hazards and simplify everything. Good Luck you sound like you will do just fine.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Maybe you have already done this or others have suggested the same, but I would suggest you write all your concerns down and make an appointment with your doctor to discuss. You may want to ask for referrals to other professionals (such as neurologist, physical therapist, occupational therapist, etc.). You may also want to ask your doctor to consider any side effects or drug interactions from any medications or supplements you are taking (such as dizziness). These days they can find out all possible issues on a computer program which is what my doctor did for me and discovered the antidepressant I was on had the potential to cause serious issues down the road because of other medications I am on. A neurologist can evaluate your cognitive and neurological health. Physical therapy can help you work on strength, balance, some home adaptations and ways of doing things safely and occupational therapy can help you on these same things as well as making your environment safer and help you figure out ways of doing activities of daily living in ways that are safe, conserve energy and more efficient. Also exploring ways to enjoy things you are interested in or discover new interests to maximize your life satisfaction. Such things as grab bars, solid handrails for staircases, good lighting, a shower seat, getting rid of throw rugs or other tripping hazards, etc. can make a great deal of difference in your independence and safety. Having a cane to use when needed is a great help for being able to safely navigate your environment. I have a cane I use only rarely for when I am having pain in my hips or knees. I also have walking/hiking sticks which make trails less strenuous, safer and more accessible. Plus I get exercise, improve strength and endurance, and the immense pleasure from being in nature.
Obviously all of these things cost money but if you are a veteran you may be able to get some veterans benefits, or contacting local offices (like county or municipal) for the aging may help. Despite the high cost of an eldercare lawyer they can save you tons of money in the end. Your doctor may be able to help you get the assistance you need. Make sure your doctor’s office knows you have a number of concerns to discuss with him or her so they will give you enough time. Be sure to write down the doctors responses or better still bring someone along to write things down. You don’t want a quick in and out appointment to have your blood pressure checked, and a quick listening to of lung and abdominal sounds.
I wish you much health and happiness.
Rosemary S Marcus, MS/OT
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Dehydration and direct drug interactions are only 2 of many possibilities;

if you're ingesting anything that you've been faithfully using your entire life, you'll need to talk to your doctor or pharmacist about how those drugs fail to operate as they did years ago.

If you find you're having lots of dizziness, please consult your doctor, who can can evaluate if your over the counter OTC drugs and/or Prescription Rx meds aren the source of dizziness.

An appointment with your General Practitioner GP, is 100% needed, who might refer you to a neurologist, for an evaluation.

Aging in place means you must be in contact with your regular doctor. Stay away from "essential oils," and other ongoing fads.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter