How to bring up nursing home?

Beckymcd, another idea is "Independent Living" where the senior living facility offers a care package for the spouse.

The senior place where my Dad lived, there were numerous married couples living there, where one of the spouses need help. Dad had sold his house and used the equity to pay for the monthly rent and extra care package for himself. He loved the place :)

If that idea isn't possible, I realize telling a spouse that it is time that he needs a village to help him, him will probably dislike the idea. I feel as we age, we forget that our spouses are aging, too. He might still view you as being in your 30's or 40's with a lot of energy.... that's not uncommon. My 90+ parents did that to me.

With great and gentle honesty. A true sit down telling him that you are sorry but cannot continue in home care, and that hiring out would break the bank. Tell him that you would never abandon him, and will visit frequently, but that you cannot continue in the care. Do not expect there to be no mourning, no rage, no grief, no tears. This is worth mourning, and to mourn it is acceptable, indeed normal. I am so sorry and wish you both the best. Include him as much as you are able in visits to possible places.