I want to bring my mother home after 5 months of being hospitalized and NH care. My father and sister live in the same house but have not been involved with visiting her or contacting the NH or hospital in regards to her progress. I live out of state but have been taking time off work and coming on the weekends and staying at hotels because I can't get either of them on the phone. My mother seems to be getting dementia and she has other medical problems that are being taken care of in the hospital. She hates the nursing home and is extremely difficult to care for because she curses out the staff the fuses to eat and will not participate in physical therapy or any other activity. My sister who lives 20 min away is the first person they call for everything but she will not call me and let me know anything if they get her on the phone. I think my mother would at least eat and maybe be more comfortable at home but I have no way of discussing this with my father or sister who live in the house. I feel so stuck the NH doesn't want to hear it and just keeps saying we need to sit down and work it out but really I'm not exaggerating it's not possible This is my mothers house but it seems they have washed their hands of my her. Any advice?

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Their is a lot to the story that I realize I just can't get into thank for your help
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It's possible your mom would be difficult to accommodate wherever she is. That includes in her her own home or with you. Keep in mind that some conditions like dementia can cause a person to act very differently than they normally act. I would read a lot about dementia and her other medical issues so you can fully appreciate what is involved in their care. She will need to be supervised 24/7 and have all her needs attended to eventually, as the condition progresses. Not eating can part of the progression. Resistance to care and agitation are symptoms as well. And many patients say they want to go home, but often they say that even when in their own home. I would read about how that works and evaluate where she might get the best care.

Perhaps the family members you cannot reach are exhausted or sick themselves. Providing care is a very taxing job and can be overwhelming. Do they expect you to implore them to take her back? Maybe, they know they can't and they don't have the strength to discuss it with you.

Does she have a Durable Power of Attorney or Healthcare POA? I'd find out who is in charge and discuss it. I would be very hesitant to take on her care without a lot of preparation. You can read here and discuss it with others who have tried it. It can take over your life.
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