It has been a almost a month since his transition from the skilled nursing facility to his apartment that I share with him. He is not eating and is rapidly loosing weight. Every day is a struggle to get him to eat something, and I'm getting tired of being a cheerleader. Fortunately, we have him on almost 24 hour home care, since he is not ambulatory anymore and has to adjust to life in a wheelchair. He was a WWII vet so we get 28 hours a week that they pay for a service to come out and make sure he is alright. Every time they send a new care giver it is usually a woman. He is modest and will let the new people feed or get water but not help him to the toilet. He is not incontinent, but has his pride and all his mind there and is convinced that he can make it to the bathroom by himself. I understand that being almost fully independent for 94 years, this is a huge adjustment that he has to adapt to. I have tried for three weeks to focus on what he is able to do and not what is impossible to do. He says that he would rather die than be an invalid. the rest of his life. I treat him like a human being not the man I see sitting in the wheelchair. After having 5 different care givers come out over the last three weeks, I am always optimistic that one will work out. I always stay the first time to make sure everything is alright as this is a stranger to him. I start school in less then two weeks and can not be here all the time to make sure that everything is alright. I feel guilty when starts yelling at me and 99 percent of the time I just let him do it, but I am getting tired of the apologies afterwords for his viscous attacks on me. I know that he is hurting both physically and psychologically but I'm exhausted. I am looking forward to going to a care giver support group to gain human contact and listen to other stories from people. I have graciously taken care of him for almost 4 years now and I am ready to just walk away. Every time my family talks is almost always about grandpa and what is going on with him. I am striving to find balance where he is with a caregiver and I can have a life as well. I am just so frustrated that I don't know what to do anymore. I know that this situation is not unique and people have it far worse than I do, but I feel like enough is enough. I am tired of putting my life on hold, or sacrificing happiness to make sure he is ok. New year's eve was spent checking breathing as he went on liquid morphine. I feel like I just want to walk away. I look forward to hearing suggestions, on how to deal with telling him that he is not an invalid, and that we are trying to keep him safe. Please help.