How to balance being a full time caregiver to my grandmother while my 5 year old is off of school for the holidays?

My oldest had gotten attached to my SILs Dad. She just loved the man. And him her. He lived next door to my in-laws so she would run over and say Hi to Mr E and spend some time with him. He passed when she was 5. I planned on taking her to his funeral but the older relatives thought she should not attend. So I did not take her and have regretted it. When my Aunt died my youngest was 5. She loved my Aunt. We took her to the funeral. My husband took her up to the coffin, she said goodbye and we walked to the back of the Church and sat. She has never had any problems attending funerals. In my family, we except death as part of life. Do we grieve, of course, but we don't allow that grief to take over our lives.

I like what ITRR says. But, I would not expose a 5 yr old to the death bed for a long period of time. If SHE wants to see grandma, then let her. But if seeing grandma this way upsets her, remove her from the room.

Why can't your Mom take time off from work? Does she not have vacation time or personal time? I think a child can behave for 5 hours. She needs to be while in school. You don't need to be at grandma's side the whole time.

I’d call in some favors. Maybe your mother can help you out taking your shift and hers for a few days. It isn’t an unreasonable request.

Personally I find this a very teachable opportunity.

A 5 year old understands the need to be calm and quite, we called it indoor voice and play. We provided activities that were less excitable, like coloring grandma pictures, constructing a play house out of cardboard boxes and planning the play we would put on with paper dolls, board games and reading, all of these worked to keep activity high and volume lower.

Making her the helper and providing age appropriate tasks for pay can be a great lesson.

Does grandma need a bedside vigilance? Can she be left alone? Is she conscious? Does she love your daughter? These all make a difference.

I think hearing a happy child can only do good and teaching a child about end of life and how we need to behave is a good thing. Win-win.

I am sure you will find a way to meet both there needs for a week.

The short answer, but probably the truth, is that you CAN’T “balance” the two situations that you describe.

Are there any financial resources for you to fund a couple hours of coverage for your grandmother while you are focusing on your grandchild?

Is your grandmother receiving hospice support?

Could you get “emergency coverage” from a neighbor or friend?

It sounds as though you need coverage for 2 potentially vulnerable situations. Maybe someone will help you “just this once”.