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My mother in law's new behavior is asking me every morning and night time if the pills in the container are "her" medications to take and should she take them? It seems every week she declines faster than the week before. It's frustrating to watch and isolating to be stuck at home(my house) watching her just sit in one spot all day long.

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My mother with vascular dementia did the same thing. Constantly questioned her meds. Until she declined to the point where she refused them entirely, insisting they were killing her. She was 94 at the time. I felt certain the only thing that WOULD kill her was a meteor hitting the Memory Care building. Just kidding. Not.

MG references a comment you left on another post. For reference, here it is:

"Listen, I'm a caregiver to my mother in law who has vascular Dementia and it's highly isolating for me. In December 2024 I stepped back from being a working caregiver to take care of my mother in law. I gave up a paying job and resentment set in. I came out of retirement for a really good friend and her husband, and she passed in December. Once again, I'm taking care of my mother in law. It's not my job, but my husband and his brother expect me to do it. They didn't ask me to do it. I resent them for dumping her here at my house and being an absolute brat because Dementia has many stages of going backwards in behavioral issues. She's supposed to be in assisted living, but financially it's not happening. I don't have room for her in my house, she doesn't like my cooking(healthy) and she doesn't apologize for her behavior. Don't quit your job. Just don't."

I say AMEN to that advice!

Why not apply for Medicaid for MIL to place her in Skilled Nursing care, and tell your husband and BIL to kick rocks? No way I'd be caring for any dementia patient in my home, period.

Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation.
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Freyasmom, I read your comment on another thread that your husband and his brother dumped their mother on you to leave your job to take care of her.. I suggest that you tell them you will no longer do this and that they will need to find another arrangement for their mother. They can take leave from their jobs, or apply for Medicaid for her. Or you could put her in the car and drop her off at your brother-in-law's house. You could take a new job or go on a vacation and tell them they need to step up and take over. I'm sorry you're stuck in this isolating and frustrating situation.
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