We are so happy to have found this forum and appreciate the information on so many topics as well.
A brief history of my FIL. He is 80 and has been a bachelor for the last 50 years. My husband is his only living child. He is a hoarder that we feel we have helped him manage over the last 15 years. But it’s now getting out of control. He burns all mail in the fireplace versus us taking to a shredder because of fear of someone getting his personal info. He doesn’t trust pretty much anyone. When talking about anything personal he states “ they are listening anyways”. We can have “normal” conversations with him for a few minutes then it quickly turns to “word salad” that we can’t comprehend and when we ask him to explain what he means he says “well you wouldn’t understand”. He gets philosophical or speaks in mathematical terms or theories that he believes are facts- which some may be but he seems to not be able to converse anymore without it being about him.
He has delusions of grandeur about himself. He claims to have been in the CIA, and when trying to go down a factual road asking questions about his experiences he gets mad.
The most alarming and very recent delusion is that he claims his own father is a very famous composer/musician that died in 1940. His own father my husbands grandfather died 40 years after that. When we go down the road of facts of his own fathers birth and death and life and it does not compute with him it’s hard for us to comprehend. He says he actually believes this but can’t explain to us how it’s possible....he also has a picture of this famous composer alongside other pics of his father.
He sees a psychiatrist every couple months for countless years but we believe he’s just collecting money. My FIL agreed to allow my husband to come to his Dr. visit as well as speak with him on the phone to address our concerns. At the Dr. visit he stated to my husband “he’s just an eccentric man”. (Which is how we have always known him but he has now crossed over to another world) so all the time and energy and time off work to go to his appt hasn’t led us anywhere. We are just spinning in circles.
So HOW to we move forward? Take video of his home? Secretly record his conversations with us? Which we don’t feel good about doing.... how do we start the process and conversation for brain scans etc.
Looking forward to some feedback on this and thanks in advance.