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Every time I visit my HWA in memory care he associates me with going home. He constantly says I want to get out of here when can I leave what do I have to do to go home. I miss my home. I cannot take him home as deemed by all doctors. He had a stroke at his last fall and it’s just too much now. He is totally incontinent

I found that leaving my mother after walking her to the dining room for the meal , was best . She was distracted with other people rather than sitting alone in her room to ruminate about how I was leaving her there.

I would say “ It’s time for dinner “. Say good bye and leave.

I also did the things that Golden said , with various results depending on the day. It’s likely he will keep asking for some time.
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Reply to waytomisery
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There are several ways to deal with this

distraction - change the subject, state you need to visit the washroom,
therapeutic fib - you need to get stronger
blunt truth - this is your home now, you need the care that is provided here. The doctor has said you need to be here,

and there probably are others. Some of what needs to happen is that you become more comfortable with the situation so that his questions don't bother you so much. I hope for his sake and yours he adjusts soon.
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Reply to golden23
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Last time you asked this question on August 20th, you got several comments. Did you read them?

https://www.agingcare.com/questions/how-to-get-my-hwa-to-understand-he-is-not-coming-home-from-memory-care-496118.htm
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Reply to lealonnie1
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You answer spot on honestly.
You will not make him happy; you cannot change any of this; this isn't your responsibility.
Allow him to mourn, to weep, to rage. Is this not worth sadness and anger?

You tell him "You will not be going home again. You have Alzheimer's and that will be progressive; you will always need to be in care. I will visit you; I hope that will help. I know that you are very sad, very angry, very upset. I am also very sad. But this is what life will now be for us".

There is nothing else to do or say, is there?
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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