How to address personal hygiene tactfully?

Sorry.

Ahh...about to puke here!

Latest PM from BidetMan:

"bidetsprayerman posted on your message board 2/23/2016 at 11:45 pm

Only desperate to pierce the veil of ignorance and dirty butts."

I suppose it's admirable that he's desirous of ensuring everyone has a clean derriere.

Rainmom, rational appeals to this hostile salesman unfortunately don't work. Given what he's posted and his snide remarks, I can't imagine why he thinks anyone here would even consider him or his product. Actually I can't believe he really is a salesman; he certainly doesn't know how to deal with people.

Keep reporting all this guy's posts. That's what I've been doing. Hopefully the Admins will take him out. He needs to learn how to sell legitimately and how to abide by the TOS of a site.

Jinx - I'm sure there are dozen and dozens of products out there that may or may not be helpful to people here. Does that mean we want our threads clogged up with salesmen pitching their products? Where does it stop? Insurance, vitamins, lotions, denture creams, butt creams, mattresses, mattress protectors, blenders, hearing aids, shoes, support stockings, reading aides, books, pill reminders... Get where I'm coming from?

bother should read but for^^

Personal profile for bidetsprayerman

On My Mind...
There are people who's minds are so closed that when someone suggests something new to them they actually take affront, pathetic.

It is,in my opinion, more dangerous to suggest inappropriate things carte blanche as being suitable for all than to criticise others for criticising you

You also post a link to a business - if people want a hand bidet sprayer they can search for one BUT

Can I just say you have no idea of the difficulties associated with dementia that exist for many people. Apart from the notion of using it to loosen stools there is an issue of how you plan to use it if someone cant move forward on the seat so you can get to them, or can't raise themselves of the seat without full on assistance, or have serious opposition to showers let alone anything aimed at there backside. People with dementia are very diverse in their likes and dislike, abilities and disabilities and this isn't just diverse FOR every person it can be and often is diverse WITHIN each person too. When you have a loved one who can't remember how to put the switch down to turn on a light what hope in hell have you got of them using a hand sprayer correctly. It might be fine for a fit lucid individual to use, I actually have used them a lot ON ME bother someone with dementia? Really?


Imagine the joy of cleaning a bathroom and this scenario if left to their own devices and in my house this would without a shadow of a doubt happen
.
Mum goes to the toilet
'Mum use the sprayer for your bottom'I call from outside
You hear the spray and then still hear it and then still hear it and then you hear a fall
So you go in
Mum has tried to use the spray but forgotten how
She has tried to stand and used the spray on her bottomed the water and the soil from faecal matter has run down her legs is all over her clothes and is on the floor. Mum has tried to move and has slipped on the wet floor and hit her head. You enter and also slip on the wet floor.

Tell me HOW exactly is that better?

Hey guys, some people will be pleased and astonished to learn that this product exists. Live and let live.

How low and tacky do you have to be- to search old threads for hygiene issues to push your product. You give sleazy salesmen a bad name.

SprayerMan, you don't give up, do you? Don't you have a business to run to sell to real customers?

Hi Nancy & lifeexperiences! Thanks so much for the kind words...nice to know other folks are out there that are in the same boat...I appreciate the tips!

gramzieW... you will save yourself a lot of cleaning and washing if you walk her to the toilet every three hours. also...you could put a thick pad in those diapers...reeeeallly helps overflow...and you could change those...and lots of times not have to change the diaper!

GramzieWytch13 Isn't that just like a kid? I can remember chasing one down to change them when they were able to get around, not potty trained, but too busy to go. Doesn't help your problem, but should bring back some memories. Hate to ask you to "check her out" every once in a while...perhaps suggest a change at regular times of the day, but hopefully she cannot run. Hugs to you

My Mom has no problem wearing the diapers, but she takes advantage of the fact that she can have an accident, & not worry about it...what I mean is that she has become lazy & just continues to urinate until it's heavy & soaked with urine...which leads to overflow- so she wets the bed & herself, which is what we were trying to prevent in the first place!

My husband has bed baths because he is paralyzed. I noticed that he was in a LOT of pain when they turned him to wash the back. The nurse suggested a pain pill an hour before they come. They are so helpful and call me to say when they are coming. It has made a great change in him. Before that, he was not himself. He became rude and yelling because he was in pain. I am so happy the nurse suggested this and we are ALL happier. Praise God for pain meds.

Many elders are reacting badly to the shower as though it's going to hurt them.
It might well be that it does.
I have found over the last couple of months that taking a shower is extremely painful.
Plain water stings my eyes as though I've got soap in them. This before I've even picked up soap or shampoo. Then there is the water on my skin which feels on a good day like a million pin pricks, on a bad day like paper cuts.
I'm 58 years old, don't have dementia. I keep my water temperature comfortable and the spray I've tried every combination with no change of result.
My Dr has no idea what is happening or why. But one possibility is that my different meds are causing this as they fight each other. Or just that my skin is getting thinner. Due to medical conditions my body is similar to that of someone 70/80's. Just thought this might help :~)

kashi60....best answer if it works

Kashi60
My husband became angry when I noticed something he didn't. He was unaware of his errors, mistakes, challenges, whatever you want to call them. But he could not acknowledge that he had done anything incorrrectly. Consequently eveything wrong wih him had to be my fault. It was a most difficult early stage of Alzheimer's disease.It was a time when the balance in our relationship shifted. I finally became the nagging wife he was accusing me of being.
If I had it to do over, I would not argue with him or tell him to change, merely hold his hand, lead him to the bathroom, hand him clean clothing and help him remove the soiled. No words, done as if nothing had transpired.

Yes...WIPING! I use to freak when my mother went poop...never enough tissue to clean a mess. I found that if I dampen a paper towel...and put some baby oil on it...it has a wider range for cleaning...is softer because it's damp and has baby oil on it. But...don't throw these in the toilet! I have a plastic bag next to me...and put all the dirty paper towels in it when I've cleaned up everythiing...then toss it outside in the large trash cans. This was a life saver idea that I learned from my dad...90 yrs at the time!

One option we've had good success with is a toilet seat bidet. Although if someone is forgetting to wipe, they could/would just as easily forget to push the wash button too. But, in cases of decreased mobility, wiping can be difficult or painful so the bidet seat is super helpful. And for caregivers, having the remote function allows you to "do the washing" for them by just pressing the buttons and reminding them to wiggle around a little on the seat while washing.

hi kashi60.... i buy really long pads on ebay...and have them in my dads drawer...he puts them in his underwear...and changes them when wet. then of course if he wets to much, clean underwear too. he does not have dementia. this might help? but yah...it's tough!

I have this problem with my husband...and I don't even think he has dementia!! Although he just had an MRI so maybe we will find out. But he is incontinent and still tries to use regular underwear..I bought depends and just put them in his bathroom...very subtle at first ..he has finally started wearing them but not all the time so he wets himself and just walks around like it's nothing!! I have to tell him that he needs to change his pants and he gets offended! What the heck is up with that!! So it's been a constant battle to keep after him....and he keeps getting upset everything I mention it...gee if he doesn't have dementia now..what will happen when he does! Lord help me!!

I read somewhere that when water hits an older persons skin it is uncomfortable. remember as we age our skin gets thinner and more fragile, so it might actually sting when the water hits their skin. And I know that smell and taste also diminish as we age so if they don't smell anything bad they don't know they have an odor. hope things get better for you.

I agree with Sunnygirl. This is an all day every day behavioral challenge which will need supervision in the bathroom. Some parents are very private about personal toileting issues. You may need to pretend you are washing out something in the sink or tub and excuse yourself for being there, but you both will eventually get used to it and he will comply. If this is the only behavioral challenge you have, it is usually not the reason for seeking outside care. But when others threaten safety, it may become necessary to have an aide with him.

Children become Adults and Adults become Children. I took care of my Mother and Wife, I was very frank about what needed to be done and did it. Fortunately, they were mentally alert, but physically not able to do the toilet thing. I would supply a warm soapy cloth and rinsing towel. They were bed ridden and not able to visit the bathroom. You do what you do for people you love.

lifeexperiences: You are right on point! I said to my mother "wouldn't you rather have me, your daughter, tell you that you smell instead of your friend? "

Dear TSM13...it's a process. At first it's uncomfortable for everyone...then slowly, you just take over and they will follow. These older seniors are very tired...but of course, no one wants to lose control of their life...later, they will be soooooo grateful that you are helping them. Just move in...and keep going...things will turn around for you...but you will be working more. take care...

I experienced the same situation with my Papa before, and now with my Mama. Your Dad is already showing signs that he could not take care of himself anymore. He needs a caregiver, who will assist him in this activity. Giving him all the tools that he needs, like wipes, soap, water, and his fresh undies may work if he still remembers how to use these. There'll come a time when he couldn't be independent anymore if his dementia is progressing. Therefore having a caregiver will solve this problem.

As a professional caregiver my experience requires me to actually do the wiping with wet wipes and gloves.

I speak to my clients and tell them that it is very important to be clean. I then explain what I must do. I apologize evrytime because a person with dementia cannot remember from one moment to another what is going on. I am gentle but thorough.

If you have had children it is easier to accept this chore as you probably can remember doing this for your babies.

This is actually the only way to handle this problem. It is one of the biggest expenses; purchasing wet wipes and having gloves at all times.

It is also important to have the individual wash their hands just like a doctor or nurse would. I say this and also monitor the washing.

One of my clients is also blind and has severe Alzheimer's but she is at peace when I perform this task.

Unfortunately, we are so averse to such things as a society it really leaves elders with too many urinary tract infections which can cause more confusion and hospital stays.