Dad has Parkinsons and early dementia, I help out mom so she can focus more with dad and get some relief so far the last 5 to 6 years - they live on their own (technically), but at this point they need more help. I am the closest of the 3 siblings so I am there from doctors appts, grocery, entertainment, church and even parents' errands.
My dilemma is if I help them I feel that they rely on me alone and refuse to move in with my brothers but if I don't--- I feel guilty that I don't help them. I have 2 brothers, and both live 2 to 5 hours away, both bothers offered to take them in but both parents are stubborn to let go of their space and so-called independence---but if I am not there, how can they even do the simple errands. Sometimes I feel I need to provide tough love so they realize that they need help, but they are my parents i feel really bad/guilty that I am not able to assist.
I understand that it's really hard to let go of your own space but then mom needs more help especially at night---my brothers are really good dealing with my dad's tantrums or outburst.