Do I tell dad about his 'moderate cognitive impairment'? If so, how? And will it matter?
My dad is 91, has Parkinson's and depression, and started going further downhill a couple of years ago. He was officially diagnosed by a psychiatrist as having moderative cognitive impairment in April; fortunately, I already have health care proxy and power of attorney. We moved him into ALF after he went into the hospital with blood clots. He has gotten increasingly hostile (especially to my stepmom, who still lives at the house), and insists he's perfectly healthy. I've reminded him him of the Parkinson's, and the blood clots, and the depression. He's back in the hospital after passing out after dinner last night, and I had particularly awful conversation with him today--he's being treated like a prisoner/rat/dog, he's perfectly healthy, he'll write me and my brother out of the will, and he'll get a cab to go back to the house. He almost asked me to come by and take him to the houes (not the ALF) but then realized I was out of state. Do I tell him about his dementia? Does it matter? I'm supposed to go out for a visit in a couple of weeks (I'm in Michigan, he's in Massachusetts), and frankly think I'll do more harm than good if he sees me.
I'd be concerned about him threatening to leave, call cab, etc. If he is wandering, AL may not be able to contain him. They can't legally prevent him from leaving. Would he be able to get his hands on money to pay a cab? Can he call one? Can he walk unassisted? I'd make sure that he did not have the means to leave the facility and if he did, then I would consider a Secure Memory Facility.