My 91 yr old mother is in the nursing home for the second time this year. She wants to go home and NH believes her that she has adequate support to do so. Nope! She has a colostomy (25yrs) and has had several partial blockages in the last year. She is improving in rehab and would do well in an assisted living facility with some additional help. However, she no no longer uses her walker on her own so she uses a wheelchair. I have to say she usually is good with transfers to the toilet, but the wheelchair won't work on her thick carpet or fit through the door to her bathroom. It has been an increasing problem for me in the last couple years running to her house in the middle of the night. She has fallen multiple times. Broke her hip 2 years ago. She can't cook anymore and doesn't like what meals on wheels brings. I bring her food and she lets it sit. I had aides coming in daily but she sent them away except for about an hour a day. She has lost 100 pounds in 2 years. I am 62 with my own health problems and I can no longer do this. My 73 year old husband is a peach helping but he says enough. We have helped her remain in her home for 16 years since my Dad died. I know I need to just tell her no. We are going to see her this week and lay out options for her. Basically one of two assisted living places or stay in NH. My husband says if she insists she's going home we say that's her choice but we will not help her do this because it is unsafe for her and harmful to our well-being. I just don't know how this will go and if she will fight us. If she managed to get home there is no way I'd ignore her so it seems an empty threat.