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My my wife most likely has vascular dementia following the stroke 6 years ago she is all the symptoms she also is in total denial or less than any reasoning I can't tell a lot of hurtful stories family also is in denial she's also not getting any care broke her hip are you different opinions from different lawyers any advice welcome

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I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Section 81 guardianship can be successful, but it often depends on how clearly you can show the court that your wife really can’t make safe decisions for herself anymore. From what you describe — dementia symptoms, denial, and now a broken hip with no proper care — it does sound like guardianship could help protect her.

That said, I’ve learned from a friend’s experience with his mom that it can feel overwhelming and even get messy when family members are in denial. The judge usually looks at medical evidence, your testimony, and sometimes expert opinions to decide. If different lawyers are giving you mixed messages, you may want to find one who specializes in elder law and has done a lot of Section 81 cases — experience makes a big difference.

You’re not alone in this. It’s hard when love for someone and the legal system collide, but guardianship has helped families in similar situations finally get their loved one the care they need.
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Reply to TenderStrength5
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john1947: Retain an effective attorney.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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Your success in getting guardianship will be dependent on many things once you get to court.
1. You will need letters from your wife's MD, who knows her well, and from a consult with a neuro-psyc MD who does a thorough exam; BOTH of these MDs, stipulating that your wife is no longer competent in judgement, in her own safety, in care needs and etc will be crucial to present to the judge through your attorney.

2. If other family members stand to say they know your wife well and have daily contact with you, and that she is competent mentally to control her own life decisions this will weigh in your wife's favor if she is fighting guardianship. The courts are loathe to take a competent citizen's rights from him/her.

3. If your wife has her own attorney, which she will have offered to her, and this attorney presents his own examining doctors opinions that your wife is competent, then you are unlikely to win guardianship. Courts are loathe to take a citizen's rights from him/her.

4. If your wife stands at court docket to defend herself, and the judge finds her competent in answers to him/her, you are unlikely to win guardianship. Courts are loathe to take a citizen's right from him/her.

Good luck. I am certain that any attorney explained this to you.
You may also be helped by:
1. Any police reports
2. Any social worker evaluations
3. Any visiting APS evaluations.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Sounds like a complete medical evaluation including cognitive testing is needed. An official diagnosis will help guide you. Don’t try to convince wife or anyone else of her condition, let the doctor give that news, and if it isn’t received, let it go on the convincing. Denial lasts until the symptoms become undeniable. I’m not clear if you’ve seen an elder care lawyer?
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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What are the differing opinions from the various lawyers you've talked to?
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Reply to Geaton777
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Do you have DPOA (Durable Power of Attorney)? If so, that and Medical proxy should be enough with a formal diagnosis. DPOA is usually immedicate so proof of Dementia is not needed to invoke it. Guardianship is very expensive. I think what you need to do is see and Elder Attorney. They will be able to give you the best answer.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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