I will assume your spouse has passed, if so sorry for your loss.
Your profile says wife was 84. So I assume you are about the same age. If so, at your age, you do what makes you happy. We never know what tomorrow will bring so do what you want today.
This is not a new topic and we have had different responses. The one that I remember is the woman whose husband was in a NH with a Dementia. She had cared for him till she couldn't anymore. The man in the home was not the man she married. He didn't recognise her or family anymore. He just sat living in the world his mind made up. He was not "there" anymore. She wanted to know if it was OK to date. She was so lonely. We told her yes.
I think it boils down to when it is you feel comfortable to do so. There is no time frame, as grief is such a personal journey that those of us that have lost a spouse must take, and no two journeys are the same. You'll know when you're ready, just don't force anything. Life is short and life is precious as you all too well know, so you have to do what is best for you. Don't worry about what other people say, as unless they have walked in your shoes, they have absolutely no right to say anything. Wishing you the very best.
My father was a wonderful and committed husband to my mom, in sickness and in health as the vow says. We, his adult children told him very soon after her funeral how much we appreciated his faithfulness and that he should be happy to see anyone he wished. He dated a bit, became a huge flirt, and everyone was happy for him. I hope you’ll do likewise
You've completed your commitment to your wife and have honored your vows. You're free to speak to whoever you want, and even to establish new relationships if you choose. That, in no means, implies that you don't cherish the life you had. That, in no means, diminishes your continued love for her. Her death leaves a hole in your heart, but doesn't restrict you from living a new life without her. The loss of a spouse is highly stressful, and your grief may determine when you want to move on with your life. But continuing friendships, not being afraid to talk to others about your wife's death, realizing you still have your life to live, and accepting the fact that the love of your life has died, can help in easing the trauma of her death and allowing you to work thru your grief. So begin to socialize with whoever you want as soon as you can.
Anytime they want. There is no set amount of time a person must observe before they start talking to the opposite sex or even dating. I know a man who's wife had cancer. She would be sick then have periods of remission then get sick again. This went on for almost 14 years. Now mind you, they loved each other very much and were happily married for 35 years. She died and he started seeing a very nice woman a few months later who's husband had also died of cancer. People had a lot to say. Throwing their two cents in about him not even taking any time to grieve his late wife. His response was that he started grieving for his wife 14 years ago when they got the cancer diagnosis and that's a long time. A friend of mine who lost her husband to cancer just five months ago is dating a very nice man now. She's a good friend of mine and so was her husband. I knew them for 30 years. She grieves her husband every day and misses him. That will always be so because they were together for a long time. Letting another person into your life does not reduce the love someone has for their spouse who died. It does not make them stop grieving or missing them either. People need to stop being so judgmental in thinking that it does.
Your profile says wife was 84. So I assume you are about the same age. If so, at your age, you do what makes you happy. We never know what tomorrow will bring so do what you want today.
This is not a new topic and we have had different responses. The one that I remember is the woman whose husband was in a NH with a Dementia. She had cared for him till she couldn't anymore. The man in the home was not the man she married. He didn't recognise her or family anymore. He just sat living in the world his mind made up. He was not "there" anymore. She wanted to know if it was OK to date. She was so lonely. We told her yes.
6 months after he passed, she remarried a good friend with whom she & hubby had been close. His wife had passes about a year before.
Nobody 'talked'. It was none of our business. I am happy that she is not alone and is with someone who adores her and her kids.
Not many people are so blessed with love--twice.
You'll know when you're ready, just don't force anything.
Life is short and life is precious as you all too well know, so you have to do what is best for you. Don't worry about what other people say, as unless they have walked in your shoes, they have absolutely no right to say anything. Wishing you the very best.
I know a man who's wife had cancer. She would be sick then have periods of remission then get sick again. This went on for almost 14 years. Now mind you, they loved each other very much and were happily married for 35 years. She died and he started seeing a very nice woman a few months later who's husband had also died of cancer. People had a lot to say. Throwing their two cents in about him not even taking any time to grieve his late wife.
His response was that he started grieving for his wife 14 years ago when they got the cancer diagnosis and that's a long time. A friend of mine who lost her husband to cancer just five months ago is dating a very nice man now. She's a good friend of mine and so was her husband. I knew them for 30 years. She grieves her husband every day and misses him. That will always be so because they were together for a long time. Letting another person into your life does not reduce the love someone has for their spouse who died. It does not make them stop grieving or missing them either. People need to stop being so judgmental in thinking that it does.