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My brother has taken mom from her home and moved her in with him and moving out of state next month. I've been her caregiver for 5 years. He seems not care about how I feel about this and so he kicked me to the side of the road. We are the only two siblings. Then he called APS telling them I won't turn over to him mom's money as if they have something to do with this but I have no clue. He puts mom up to screaming at me over the phone. Now he's selling her property and has changed the locks so I cannot get my things.. He acts in full control of her whole life now as if I never existed. He's never acted this way before. He does not want me talking to my mother and turned her against me.. She's been in the hospital and my brother has told staff something because they ask me questions, comparing my story to his. Mom told me to stay away from now on because if she talks to me he won't talk to her anymore. I have no idea what right he has to take over my mother's life on a day's notice. He acts like he's never known me. I'm very hurt, frustrated and heartbroken. I've decided I will not visit her anymore. Apparently my brother has taken full control of her mind. He was of no help to either me or mom ever - a selfish self-centered do nothing brother. I feel so abandoned but I guess I'll eventually recover.

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I'm just wondering, speculating really... If you had been looking after your parent, and something had gone terribly wrong, and then because of that all kinds of other problems came to light so that with hindsight even you would have to agree that with the best will in the world you had all the same made a complete dog's dinner of the whole business... and you wanted some moral support but realised you probably wouldn't get a heck of a lot of sympathy once people had judged the whole story...

You'd still feel in need of some kind of comfort and support, wouldn't you?
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You're welcome, Jess...and thanks to FF for linking to the previous post. There are other posts by this same person about money being taken out of the bank (large sums) by siblings who took their mother into the bank and had her sign the check, etc. All in all, I feel for everyone involved, but this sounds like a situation we can't possibly be expected to diagnose or offer assistance with - we don't know the whole story.
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I think it is just a fake story. Seems pretty dumb to lie about caregiving things. Thanks for pointing it out, Susan.
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All I can say to our members here is: proceed with caution answering this one. See FreqFlyer's post above. There is much more going on here than meets the eye.
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What was your mother doing in the hospital?
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Who has POA? Bro? Sis? You? Are POA''s in place? If not, it is past time and may be too late depending on mom's ability to understand the documents. Otherwise, Guardianship is probably required. See an elder law attorney. Most have a free, initial consultation of thirty minutes. Tell them the full story.

How did you get control of mom's money?
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Hmmm - earlier post referenced a sister, now it's a brother, but both posts indicate APS was contacted. Susan, you are SO right!
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Thank you, FF - I saw that as well and wondered....I think there is far more going on here than we are capable of assisting with. Just my $0.02.
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vshs, I came across this post you wrote in June where your sister removed your Mom from your care. Please clarify as above you said it was only you and your brother as siblings, but this post I found shows a sister.

https://www.agingcare.com/questions/sibling-told-doctors-i-was-neglecting-mom-as-caregiver-203327.htm
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vshs, I was thinking the same thing as Jessie above since I read your profile where you wrote that your Mom has Alzheimer's/Dementia. It is not unusual for someone with dementia to create tales that never existed. They will see news stores or watch a drama on TV and think the same had happened to them.

I wonder if your Mom had told your brother stories and he was shocked at what he was hearing and reacted to what your Mom had said. And now she is telling you not to talk to her because then her son won't speak to her again. She might be pitting the two of you against each other without realizing she is doing that. It's the dementia speaking, not her.

Oh, by law your brother need to allow you to go into the house to get your belongings. Call the local Sheriff's office and explain that you need to go into the house.
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Who is POA for Finances?
Who's name is on the account where Mom's money is?
You may have to contact an Lawyer that knows Elder Law.
Your brother may be "abusing" your Mother Financially.
There is a good possibility that her Doctors would also say a drastic move would not be in her best interest.
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It could be that your mother told your brother things and, not knowing how the disease works, he believed what she said. If you were to believe things that many people with dementia say, caregivers rob them blind and abuse them daily. This is even if the caregiver is the kindliest soul on earth. Do you think your mother could have told your brother stories?
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Wow. That is crazy. All I can say is somehow let your mom know you will always be there for her. Probably when your brother finds out how much actual WORK is involved in caregiving he will dump her back on you. Of course after he spends every penny she has...
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