My grandma is at stage 6 out of 7. She's walking barely, talking barely, and sometimes will feed herself but that's getting to be a rare occasion. She's having accidents but usually it's management and just urine. She's getting a bit meaner towards me lately hitting and kicking or even pinching. It's only to me so far though.
I'm in the process of moving. I was asked by Maine what I needed from them. They were wondering if I wanted in home care like I have here or if I wanted her to be in a skilled nursing facility of my choosing. Mom had wanted her to be in a nursing home. She made my sister and dad promise they would force my hand at it. My mom didn't want me giving up the rest of my life caring for her since I'm 37 and since having cared for my mom and grandma for the past 5 or so years, I have given up my job, any chance of marriage having been home bound minus doctor's appointments and been home bound minus doctor's appointments.
My dad has been providing for us until this point but that must end as he is retiring. This is not his mom so while he's been helpful in sitting in the room with her, he is not a good caregiver and gets greatly irritated by her so he helping is not an option. He's been generous just to support and allow her to stay in his house after losing his wife in January.
What my question is, knowing what the final stage of dementia is, how many of you were able to handle it at home alone? Do people typically put the people in a home at that point since they no longer recognize anything including their surroundings? I'm trying to figure out what is best for both of us. I just know with her being abusive at times, it's upsetting my dad and I'm worried I won't be able to care for her if she's bedridden and still not willing to cooperate.
The choice is mine since I have POA and Health Care advocate. I just wanted advice on what others have done in the past and if they have had good luck in caring for a bed ridden elderly parent alone who weighs more than them.
Also at what stage does hospice kick in? Is there a time period where it's obvious they should be involved?