I’m taking care of spouse, post-op,video-assisted thoracoscopic (VATS) surgery, lobectomy for lung cancer, GI hemorrhages post op, now allergic reaction to Tramadol last evening. He was discharged after the first surgery with Oxycodone for pain control. Developed ileus, had to go to ER to enable the constipation to be medically resolved. Next day, collapsed at home, shock, black stool, vomiting massive amounts of blood. Emergency repair one week to the day after the VATS. He was discharged with hydrocodone with Tylenol for pain control, or Tramadol, if not needing quite as much pain relief. He refuses to take the hydrocodone/Tylenol for fear of another ileus. So he started the Tramadol, which gave good pain relief when the Home Health nurse insisted he take the pain medicine. She came Monday to assess. Last evening, he’s itching furiously, swollen arms, hands, legs, feet. I removed the Tramadol, gave him Benadryl to treat the allergic reaction. No airway swelling complaints. He got up about 4:00 AM, took Tylenol for the pain. It’s not cutting the pain at all. Which brings me to the next problem. The man is verbally abusive. He abused me horribly on three occasions when I was so sick, I required hospitalization for diverticulitis. I am refusing to be abused by this man. We are both senior citizens, both early diabetic, both having ambulatory and pain issues, both use cane to walk. I am on oxygen for lung disease. He smoked himself into emphysema. We don’t have funds for an aide to come in. Trying the home health route, to get him stronger.
So just how much abuse must I take? I have started telling him he’s getting a one hour time out, and I remove myself from his tirades. When he settles down, I will assist again. How on earth am I supposed to be a caregiver, sick myself, and be abused on top of it? If he could just get some pain control, it would be manageable. This is not manageable.