My mom has been in the dementia unit of a nursing home for about a year and a half (feels like longer). I've had a hard time with administration and staff. (Anyone with a parent in a nursing home knows exactly what that means.) I often feel that I hate that place because of the way I've been treated, but it's the best one I could get my mother into, she's content there, and a move would mean she loses her private room and everything she's familiar with...not a good thing at her age. With time, as expected, I've seen my mother's condition get worse. She's in diapers now and unable to speak coherently. It kills me slowly to see her like that, though I love her more than anything. Sometimes it's a struggle for me to go visit her. My visits have been reduced to 2x per week for about 3 hours a visit, sometime more.
I feel guilty and angry at myself for not having the strength, or I guess the willingness to visit her more often during what is likely the last stage of her life. I long for this time of life to be over, but that would mean that I lose my mother too.
Most of the people on my mother's floor NEVER get a visitor. I'm curious about how often other people fight through the heartbreak and go visit their parent with dementia in a nursing home.
(Just to provide more detail, I pay a nursing student to visit her 3x a week for 3 hours a visit, and my husband will go visit her separately once or twice a week so she gets more coverage.)