My Mom, age 90, has been placed in a NH one state away, 100's of miles away from my home. She has dementia. The road to get there is not a good road. I have to drive b/c my husband can't drive b/c he, too has dementia. I have to take care of him. I am disabled and can't work or sit for long periods of time. I am in constant pain. I am not yet on medicare and my deductible for health ins is $10,000. If I get sick then its out of my pocket. The pocket that doesn't have much in it.
My sibs say that I should go to see Mom at least once a month. When I go any long distances, I come home completely exhausted, well for that matter even short distances, like 20 miles. After taking care of husband, the house, the yard etc. its too much for me. Disabled and in pain. I feel like I have to take care of my health and it wasn't my idea to place her so far from my town. Yes I could have someone drive me there, but even that is exhausting. Plus it is a big city where she is and the driving there is a nightmare. I am a small town driver. Plus I am elderly as well. She had me when she was very young. How about if I send letters and cards? She doesn't have a telephone in her room and doesn't do well on the phone anyway. So how often do I have to go there?