I appreciate this forum so much. Reading it helps me to understand that I am not alone. So many people go through the same things. I'm feeling guilty to the max! My mother is 94 and my father is 92. They are both in the same nursing home and both have dementia. I have guardianship of mom and POA on dad.
My mother is narcissistic and on most days is very difficult to deal with. My dad is much easier. He is mostly happy and there are days his dementia is really bad and days when he is more lucid. They have been in the nursing home since October 2017. I can tell you that I thought I would lose it last fall. They were in a very dangerous situation living at home and my hands were tied trying to get them out of their home. Finally, my mother went to the ER enough that they moved her to a nursing home. Dad voluntarily went a few weeks after her. I was visiting them daily and still mostly do visit them daily.
One question is how much or little should I visit? I try to stay 1 hour. There are times I go and I'm verbally attacked by mom the entire time I'm there. She has thrown things at me and I have been scared she would hit me.
My other question is how much information should I give them about their belongings and finances? Dad thinks the nursing home is free. It is not. In the process of paying the nursing home, I have sold all their assets. He asked me yesterday how much money he had in the bank and I told him that I really didn't know because I don't ever look at the statement. I feel so guilty not telling him the truth.