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Happy New Year. As you know my mom was staying with us but she is strong enough to go back home. I am still a little worried but it’s ok.


I have a question regarding how often an assisted living should contact me. It should be my husband but the purpose of FIL going to live there was for him to get the care he needs. Well, first issue is they know I am in Illinois a lot taking care of my mom. Well a couple weeks ago I was in the lobby of my mom's attorney and I got a call but I didn’t recognize the number so I didn’t pick it up. Well I had a few minutes and the message said that Bob wanted to walk to the bank and she said no can I talk to him. I called back and she said she will give him a ride. Then Saturday I got a call saying he was all dressed and he said he was going to take the bus to the coffee shop. Sure it was nice out but the girl told him she was going to call me. I asked my husband and he said it’s nice out let him go. The thing is is that he still has the heart monitor that he takes off all the time so it’s so hard to get a reading. But my husband came back from a visit and he said he was really bad with his memory and that the stroke probably did more damage than they could tell. It seemed like we agreed that he shouldn’t take the bus. So, now yesterday he said let him.


I am getting frustrated and he needs to clarify with the assisted living facility what they should do. But I also got a call last weekend when we were in Milwaukee saying goodbye to my daddy’s best friend from the army. He was placed on hospice last Saturday and my husband offered to take my mom and I. But assisted living called me to tell me that FIL is out of his drinks and he really wants them today. I thought this is an emergency. I also know I should let my husband take care of his Dad’s care. However, he is so angry at him and it seems to be getting worse. He took him to the doctor and that was that he just said he is fine. What about the heart monitor? What happened that really put him in the hospital? Then they set up an audiologist appointment for tomorrow. Well my husband went back to work and he is having me cancel because he doesn’t want to take off. He has FMLA. I have an appointment myself. When we took him to the coffee house my husband basically called him a miserable old man. I know I can’t control any of it but my husband is not like this. Also, we really have not been alone together for so long that he was afraid of how to interact with me and I felt the same way. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

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