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My 77 year old father was in the hospital from 12/20 - 12/26 because his legs have been weakening over time. Now he’s been in a rehab facility. It’s a beautiful place, but ITS A REHAB FACILITY - NOT HOME. Speaking of, I doubt he’ll be able to go home because it’s just not safe (but that’s another post). My question is should I be visiting him at the rehab every day. It’s only 20 minutes from my house and maybe that’s why I feel so guilty about NOT going. My visits were becoming quite frequent when he was still living in his home (and that was an HOUR away from my house!) But in all honesty, all of my responsibilities have fallen by the wayside because I spend at least 3 hrs a day at the rehab with him. He only gets 1 hour combined if PT and OT 6 days week, and I just feel like he’ll be so bored (but we’ve practically run out of things to talk about!) Should I feel guilty if I don’t want to go every day? I mean I DO feel guilty - but should I? And how can I start to taper off? Help!!

My husband was hospitalized and in rehab for 4 1/2 months. I didn’t mind visiting each day. His mind is sharp and we seldom ran out of things to talk about. But, after about 6 weeks there, he would nod off while I was there and we mostly just sat and watched television, which I could have done at home (and watched what I myself wanted to watch) Finally,my husband told me I didn’t have to visit him each day.

What was more important for me for me to do was keep in touch with the social worker and medical staff and make plans for when he came home. You need to start doing that as well. Are you thinking of bringing Dad home to your own home? Make sure you understand that if you do, you will be doing the work of three shifts of medical professionals round the clock. Lifting will be required and much home medical equipment. My home looks like a medical equipment warehouse.

Taper off by finding something interesting in your own life to do. Find a hobby you like. Go to the library. . Volunteer someplace. Redo a room or two in your home. If you aren’t sitting and thinking “I should be visiting Dad.”, tapering off will be easier.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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No, you don't have to visit everyday. My Mom was 15 min away and I did everyother. You may want to have him evaluated for LTC while in rehab. If they send him home, will he be able to do for himself? Will you need to hire an aide? An hour is a long ride in bad weather.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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As the daughter of a dad with chronically weak legs, I doubt this will be the only time you’ll deal with this. Sorry to sound discouraging but this tends to be a long term recurring issue. So you’ll need to balance your personal needs and time while also spending time with your dad. Don’t go with guilt, it drags you down, but make a plan that works to use time to your best advantage. Your dad is blessed to have you
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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Annabox,
I think we all have felt guilty when we don't always go visit at rehab. I was going all the time but then I tapered down. I used that time to finally get some stuff done and have "me" time. I would go visit at different times so she wouldn't always expect me. Take a little time away for you. You deserve it and Daddy can get through this too. Its a long road so take a minute to stop and let rehab do some work for you.
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Reply to BootShopGirl
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