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For my 93 yr old mother needed meals prepared, medications already prepared and assistance to the bathroom and bedtime.

Does your friend expect to be paid?
As Llamalover says perhaps if this is the same friend and she does not manage basically keeping your mother company during the day to a standard you would like, it would be better to speak to an agency and see if someone with more experience was available.
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Reply to TaylorUK
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Llamalover47 Oct 19, 2021
TaylorUK: Thank you for the nod.
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ZoeMags20: Imho, if this is the same friend whom you mention in your profile as not doing a great job, then perhaps you would want to choose someone else for this task.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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Agencies charge $25 an hour but only give the Caregiver between $8-$10 an hr so as a friend doing a favor, you could offer $100 over night for a total of 10hrs
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Reply to bevthegreat
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A 12 hr Shift minimum should be $10 hr
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Reply to bevthegreat
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20/25$ per hour !!!
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Reply to Helenn
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You would need to pay a prof. care giver $20/25 an hour. If thete is not a lot of care needed, just the need for someone inthe housr, I'd pay her at least $100.
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Reply to RedVanAnnie
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Ok, I read your profile (because of Isthisrealyreal's comment)
I have to agree with her and possibly amend my comment.
I ask the same question. Is this the same person that watches mom when you are working? the one that you feel is not doing a great job? If so then I do not think this is the person that should be watching mom while you are away. If you are not impressed when she is being cared for by this person for 4 or 5 hours are you going to be worried, concerned, anxious for 24, 48 hours that you are away?

If anyone is caring for a loved one and they are doing something that they should not be doing, or they are not doing what they should be you need to tell them. How can they know if something is not right? I assume you are paying this person for the 4 hours when you are working. If so just like any employee if something is not right you have to instruct the person as to what should be done. And as mom declines the instructions will change.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Zoe, is this the same friend that takes care of mom while you work?

Have you spoken with her about the level of care she provides, that you state you are not impressed with?

Do you normally pay her to watch mom?

I am asking because I think that makes a difference in how much you pay her.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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I agree with the $20-$25 p/hr amount. I have a neighbor who is very willing to help care for my mom's dog when we go out of town and she never wants to get paid (but it's a daily commitment, 3x a day to walk and feed the dog). I put a Thank You card in her mailbox with a generous gift card to a very nice local restaurant, this way it feels more like gratitude rather than a "job".
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Reply to Geaton777
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If she offered as a "I want to help you and I can do this" then she may not EXPECT payment but you can offer. I would offer between $20 and 25 an hour. The more help is needed or the riskier it is the more I would pay.
If you asked her and said you will pay her I would do the $20-25 an hour.
You can also call an agency and ask what they would charge for the same length of time and the same service and go from there. Keep in mind the agency does not pay the caregiver that entire fee. The caregiver gets what amounts to a miniscule portion of what you are charged. (many caregivers are paid around $13 to 15 an hour as an average it depends on where you live.)
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Reply to Grandma1954
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It depends on how close the friendship is.
Paying anything might demean the gesture (if it was offered to be of assistance). In this case, you can 'repay' in kind - spend a day together where the treat is on you as a way of saying thanks.
This shows appreciation and values the friendship over the monetary consideration.
Otherwise, you could slip a small sum in a thank you card and speak nothing of it.
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Reply to Kantankorus
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The going rate most places is about $25 per hour.
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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