How much should I ask for?

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My brother's mother-in-law had a stroke and is in hospital and the prognosis isn't looking good. She was the primary caregiver for her hubby with dementia. I've been asked to spend nights on their couch for his protection. They asked me to let them know how much I want for my time etc...
I have NO IDEA what to say. I need the money more than I like to admit but feel bad taking anything cause they are practically family. What should I ask for cause when I googled the average there were astronomical rates???

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I would tell my friends that NO I did not want their money, but I would insist that Dad be placed ASAP and ask them every day what they have done to move forward.
Be honest and tell them what you normally get paid. At $10 an hour for a 12 hour shift, you would be getting $120 a day. They might agree to that, but other relatives may not. So you may not get much of anything.
Be sure you give them a deadline and stick to it.
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Thank you Gladimhere! That is all great advice and I have a lot to think about! I appreciate your time and expertise!
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Thank you Sunnygirl...honestly, I am not comfortable asking for any amount although if it is divided by the three daughters OR eventually from the parents bank account...(and I don't want to ask) Then money is not an issue. Everyone likes to get a bargain, and in my history, 'you give an inch, they want a mile' so it should be a no brainer...although my fear is that I say...$100 bucks a night. (9pm to 8am) then they say thanks but no thanks and get a grandchild to stay over instead and I'm S.O.L. for some extra cash. That is why the dilemma. You pegged it right though...people sometimes say, "how much do you want for your time and effort?' hoping I actually say, "oh nothing!" as usual!
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We have used a woman that if she gets to sleep the charge is $25 a night, 12 hours. If she doesn't have a chance to sleep then it is houoy $10.00. Make sure you get an agreement in place so there ate not questions about pay, responsibilities, etc. Also keep in mind the tax consequences for you. Maybe they are thinking about payment in cash, under the table. Be very careful of this. Best talk with an elder law attorney to see how best to handle this.
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Gina, I got the $8-$15 from other postings I have seen on these forums. Yes, $10/hr sounds reasonable.

Gosh, I am thinking about your brother's mother-in-law and her stroke. Makes me wonder if her caregiving for her husband was too much for her to do during the time frames where the Caregivers weren't there. That's exhausting work for a senior. Hopefully she will recover, but both her and her husband need to be in a retirement community.
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I would ask for the amount I felt comfortable with, keeping in mind the time and effort involved, as well their ability to pay. If they are short on money, they may not be able to pay you at all. If money is not an issue, then I see no problem with the $10. I would suppose that is much lower than if they hired an agency.

I'm with you on feeling odd though. Sometimes friends or family say how much would you charge, but they really think you won't charge. But, if you need the money, then I would just say so. I would not expect someone to do it for free if I were in their shoes.
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Yes, it is something I have years of experience doing. I've only done 1 night, and it was minimal physical work...so far. He wanders at night which is the #1 reason I'm there, and home-care takes over in the morning to do the daytime rituals. How long, is a wait and see until decisions are made regarding long term nursing home for him if his wife doesn't make a full recovery. If he fell, there is always 911 if I was unable to move him. Privacy isn't an issue as much as comfort right now, as I am off work because of disability for chronic pain.
Where are you freqflyer where it is $8-$15/per hour? If I said the minimum and then the care becomes maximum, I would hate to ask for even more...so I am thinking....maybe $10? Whatdyathink?
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What is more important is how many nights will you be sleeping on the sofa? A couple of days, couple of weeks, a month or more? Will your brother be coming back to be his father's caregiver?

Is that something you can do? There are many different aspects of caring for someone with dementia. Does the father need help with walking, with eating, with bathing, with going to the bathroom. Would you be able to pick him up if he fell. Would you have much privacy sleeping on the sofa? Some people with dementia will wander around the house at night. You need to take this all into consideration. For your sake, hope it is just temporary.

As for pay, it is usually around $8 to $15 per hour depending on what you need to do. The more responsibilities, the higher the hourly pay.
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