How much money can the sibling with POA take to care for a parent?

If the needs of the parents are being met and the POA can prove (should your parent/parents need Medicaid in the future) that the money is used for the parents care that's likely all that is necessary.

It's often hard to know from afar how much money it takes for the parents' care. If you think that your sibling is mismanaging your parents' money, you could see an elder law attorney, but you are risking a fractured family so you should be very certain that there are grounds for this drastic move and that it's worth it to you. Otherwise, you can assume that your sibling is doing his or her best and concentrate on relationships.

I hope that this works out for all of you.
Carol

Your brother will need to keep accounting records of what money was spent and why. There might come a time where the parent will run out of money and need to apply for Medicaid. Medicaid will do a 5 year financial look back to see how the money was spent.

If your brother is spending the money only on the parents need, then there should not be an issue with applying to Medicaid. Elders can be expensive, just Depends alone can cut into the best of budgets.

Usually the sibling who is doing the bulk of the caregiving [which is exhausting work] will resent the other sibiling(s) questioning how the money is being used. You might try asking if he thinks your parent has enough money to get the parent through, or should the family be thinking about Medicaid for the near future?

There's no limit (specific dollar amount) that POA can use, and there is no obligation to inform others. If you think your parent is being robbed, you can get APS involved

I was my mother's caregiver for years. I used her money to pay her bills. If anything was left at the end of the month, I put it into a savings account for her. I used my own money for gas (80 mile trip 3x a week), food, her transportation, thousands of dollars in dental care and a surveillance system for her home when she had aides, clothing, etc. I spent my own money instead of hers. Now she's in a nursing home on Medicaid and had to default on all the credit cards anyway. I now wish I had used her money for her care and to pay myself a small stipend instead of paying her bills. The money I saved in an account for her will be used to bury her, and that's it. Most older people don't have a lot of money. You may be surprised about what you find if you look into this.

My sister, who was never involved in my mother's life, but overly interested in her belongings, is no longer speaking to me. I should send her a bill for half of what I spent! Sorry, that was a little off topic.

The sibling with POA can use the parent's (one parent or two?) income to pay for the parent's expenses. If the parent's living costs exceed his or her income, then yes that could mean all of it quite legitimately.

The sibling with POA is not obliged to account to other children; there is, even, an argument that the parent's finances are confidential and ought not to be disclosed to the other children; but anyone with POA is accountable to whatever public authority is charged in your area with protection of vulnerable adults in this context, and must be able to show that the parent's money was spent solely and exclusively in his or her best interests.

It would be helpful if you could say a little about your concerns: is it fair to assume that you are not satisfied with a sibling's management of your parent's finances, and wish to see the figures? Caution: if you discover that there is in fact a shortfall, and that your sibling is subsidising your parent, will you be first in line to offer help?

I have mixed feeling on a POA reporting to other siblings. On the one hand, I feel everything should be kept above board. One the other hand, if I need help and choose one responsible person to carry out my wishes, why should they report to others as if it's already their money, or as if I'm a child? As a child of an elderly person, on one hand, you want to make sure they're not being taken advantage of. On the other hand, you don't want to look like you're "helicopter parenting" your inheritance, especially if you're not helping with the caregiving.

If I had kids, I think I'd leave most of my money to whichever one was there for me when I needed them. The others could keep "living their life" without my money.

I'm not saying that's your case at all, OP. You're obviously a caring person in a sad situation. I truly wish you the best.

I have POA of my father's assets and have been paying his bills, etc. for a number of years. He has always told me I was not to let my other siblings know how much he has. At times he feels, especially one of my sisters, that all they are interested in is how much money he has. My father is well aware how well his children treat their own money and based on that he made (IMO) a good choice in allowing me to handle his money/assets. The one sister in particular has commented to me that she thought it would make our father "happy" if he gave money to her adult son and his family. I was shocked at this comment.
According to my father, she has mentioned to him not only that he give money but how much at times.
This is not someone you want to give access to your money as they is a sense of entitlement. My father is confident and he should be, that I know his money is for his care; it is not mine, nor my siblings or anyone in their families.
Base on some of her comments, I do think she is resentful that she does not have POA. Dad in his wisdom, knew what he was doing.
He does encourage me to take whatever I want as he is grateful for what I do for him. I only take reasonable amounts of cash, not from c/a or any other source as I do know it makes him "happy" to compensate me for my time, etc.
No one has asked, or do I feel obligated, to give any accounting for what I am spending on his needs. I know if he would need Medicaid at some point, all that accounting will be available to prove where his money has gone the 5 years before that happens.

1951, dad is lucky to have you.

When a sibling is asking this type of question it's because something seems amiss. While we assume that caregivers, especially a child taking care of a parent, will not take advantage of that elder's finances, this is unfortunately not always the case. If you think something isn't quite right, you should follow your gut and pursue it. I did and found out that my sibling was in fact using the POA to siphon off parent's money directly to her own accounts, living off of parent's credit cards and had changed the beneficiary info to sibling's favor. And though the damage can be undone, it is a long, expensive and emotionally grueling legal process to do so. So, I am in disagreement with any law that says a POA doesn't have to report to other siblings. There should be some checks and balances built in. And, based on my experience, a sibling who doesn't want to report to other siblings is usually up to no good.

I think some of you are missing the boat. If you have an irrevocable trust, it usually will say that an annual accounting must be sent to the beneficaries, It's been 6 years,: we have received 2, Now that half of mom's money is gone, we need to hire an attorney to figure this mess out!

The POA cannot make gifts to himself, if that's what you're asking. POA must use the principal's funds and other assets only for the support of the principal. There may be times when the POA is spending a lot of time taking the senior to doctor appointments, or even to a family graduation where they cannot fly by themselves or stay in a hotel by themselves, if there are extensive uses of the POA's own time, for the benefit of the senior, these can be reimbursed by only by the senior. The POA cannot just write themselves a check. And in my state, the POA must be able to provide an accounting to the principal or any beneficiary, but there is no definite requirement for how often this must be, I suspect that a good POA document would specify how often. When I was POA, nobody ever asked me any questions about the money side of things, they are only asking questions now that mom is gone, and I am really viewing their questions as downright silly. There is also the point of being Innocent until Proven Guilty---so I feel they should have some type of evidence or something, why they feel a need to be prying into mom's affairs. If you ask me it is private information.