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My mom is currently in a nursing home and I am not happy with the care she is getting. I thought if the nursing home is getting paid why can't I take care of her in my home

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You can care for her at home, but it is a 24/7 job that will kill you sooner than you think. My MIL got six hours pay a week. Absolutely no one here has ever gotten enough to replace the job they had. It would be basically self imposed imprisonment at an extreme poverty level.
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Medicaid will pay ZERO to you. What they will do is send a little shuttle bus a few days a week to take your mom to some kind of day care center, pay for that, a few hours a day. As far as I can tell, that is IT. (Maybe respite care a few hours a year.) I was told by a Medicaid employee last year they are phasing out 'home care'. So a few hours a day, a few hours a week in some day care thing! You still have to: get them up. Get them dressed, wrassled into a diaper. Breakfast. Wait for the shuttle to come by (and remember, during a snowstorm or a holiday, they are a no-show). Get them, working as a team, onto the little van. You have a few hours....and at 4 p.m, they bring them back. Repeat, only backwards. Get them in, change their diaper, put out food, and whatever goes for the rest of the night. Repeat the next day....Medicaid doesn't pay for caregivers AT HOME, no, not you, nor your friend down the street, nor a professional from an agency.
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I just got my mother approved for a medicaid waiver for at home care. Her condition is bedridden full care.i am waiting for an agency to come and access for hours. My friend got 8 hours a day monday through friday for her mother. She had to work fulltime because her husband died. Other than that she said they were offering 10 hours a week. I am hoping for 4 hours a day so i can hire weekend help with that money i now pay put for 4 hours. 8 years is starting to kill me, look how much money ive saved the government. i sure hope they help me so i don't die first.
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It all depends on your state. What state and city are you in? Have you ever considered an adult foster care home? We just moved mom there and its wonderful. I can share more info with you if you message me. Care at home as others have said is brutal if you are on your own. Medicaid may pay for some again depending on your state but you will not get what the nursing home gets, not even close. Let me know if I can help you find an alternative. Ruth Anne
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I have cared for my mother for almost 10 years. In CT there is a program that allows me to hire aids and a state qualified firm, Allied Community Resources, does the background checks and handles payroll. The person (the patient) needs a PCA waiver and be on medicaid. It's a little more complicated than just letting the Area Agency on Aging get you an agency, but you don't have to deal with said agencies.

On the other hand, if you are doing caregiving for the money, don't. Either do it out of love or don't do it at all.
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There's a program here in AL that will hire aids as well.
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The Medicaid program in your state may have several programs to help you and your mother.

Whether you can provide sufficient care at home is another question though. Consider hiring a geriatric care manager to help you prepare a care plan the would be acceptable to the facility's discharge planner, and your mother's physician.

Agingcare.com has an excellent article on: The Money Follows the Person Program. Use the search box on this page to find it.
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/The-Money-Follows-the-Person-Program-189162.htm

Other programs that are available in my state (Massachusetts) are: Adult Foster Care (AFC), Community Choices, Group Adult Foster Care (GAFC), and Personal Care Attendant Program (PCA).

There is also a form of health insurance that combines Medicare with Medicaid to offer day care and come in-home home health aid hours. It is called PACE.

Talking with an elder law attorney who knows the Medicaid programs in your state, and your local ASAP (Aging Services Access Point), could open up many doors to achieve your objectives!
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John thank you for the great info. Just wish states would use same term for things. Its confusing when one state calles one name and another state calles it something different even though its the exact same program. But thats government for you. Make it hard to find and even harder to understand....sigh😕
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That's the thing, it seems to be different in different states - some do have home care programs and help, others like NYS, very little. It is so hard to get answers, call the office for the aging and they stonewall you, give you the runaround, send you on a telephone wild goose chase, or flood you with gibberish your exhausted mind can't parse.
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Hi, i am in NH. I know mass gives a Lot, i hVe many friends in Ma and grew up and worked there. You can get paid 18k in ma for caring for a loved one also. My mother was just accepted for a.choices for independence waiver thru medicaid. Waiting for a letter to. Choose an agency, then wait on that ,what a pain. I would love any info if anyone has any on hours for bedridden full care needs.
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Taking care of your Mom WILL kill you even if you do find someway to get paid. The pay will never be enough!! No matter how much it is if you die. I tried taking care of my parents since 2010 and got no where. The more you do the more they hate you and do not appreciate you for your efforts. Seem to look down on you more. 91 year old Mom said that I had an IQ of 54!! I was so frustrated that I said to her if I had a higher IQ I never would be putting up with you so be glad my IQ is so low. My Husband finally decided that she got the IQ thing from the fact that I was born in 1954!!! I am so done but heart is broken from her being so mean. They have more respect for the person or child who does nothing!!!
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If your Mom is bedridden, is there any chance she would qualify for Hospice in home care? It only has someone coming for parts of days, several days a week, but there is no charge. Also, you could call the Medicaid case manager assigned to your Mom and ask for other options covered by Medicaid. A case manager should know all that is available in your area. In AZ, there are many smaller, private foster group homes for adults that are covered by Medicaid. Perhaps there would be more personalized care in a smaller more family oriented placement? And if none of these ideas is an option, her case manager should be willing to help make the care improved where your Mom is now, or help you will writing a complaint about the care to the state health dept too. In AZ, last I knew, Medicaid did pay for in home coverage, but it was only about 4 hrs /day, 7 days per week, so not much coverage, money wise, compared to what the care needs are. I see by your question now, that you are now the one who mentioned that the person getting care was bed ridden.... but hospice now covers people more based on health histories and care needs, than the notion that they are terminal and will be dying in a matter of weeks or months. It's worth asking about. I would start with the case manager assigned by Medicaid to your Mom though.
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I am in Massachusetts. It has taken years to find what options I have for caregiver services from the state. It took thousands of dollars to engage Nolan and Nolan to help me.

We had to separate all joint assets to his and hers. It took a year and an appeal after a rejection.

Now my ADW receives in excess of one hundred hours per week of agency services.

It is life changing. Incontinence supplies are covered.

I still do not know if we have reached the maximum hours no one will say in advance. It all is managed by the local A.A.A. so much depends on the skill and quality of the person's case manager at the Area Agency and engaging an excellent elder lawyer.
When I think of the thousands paid for direct pay agencies I wonder why it is so impossible to get knowledgeable case managers early in the ALZ diagnosis so one can make real long term care plans
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I was only involved for fifteen days while my mother was in acute care after surgery for a hip replacement. I know it is complicated and a lot of red tape. My advice would be the same as that of ramiller. Every state is different, so go to your state agency for information. Sometimes it is available online. One thing I learned is that, when my father passed away, I put myself on Mom's checking account and her on mine since I was writing her checks for her. When they added her assets, they were going to consider MY checking and savings accounts as hers. The reasoning was that she had access to it. So, take her name off anything that is secondary and that you don't want considered as HERS. Good luck to you.
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I live in Jackson, TN and my mother is 102 and we have to,pay for sitters for her.
I am trying to get some assistance but it seems that she cannot get Tenncare (Medicare) anymore. I have spoke with the Area Agency On Aging, but because she does not have Tenncare, she does not qualify for the programs that she needs. Can someone please help.me. Youngest child
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that shouldn't be an issue; but for starters I didn't think Tenncare was Medicare, so which are you saying she can't get anymore - and why?
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I have not read all of the posts but thinkbrhst you are looking for is the MI Choice waiver program. Google it, you will find alit there. I live in Pa and was reading about this in my state yesterday. Good luck
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I loved the end of PCVS post sbouting doing this caregiving for your mom out of love. Totally agree. I did not have a good nursing home experience whike my mom was there for rehab and told myself then that i would do my best to keep her home. I was fortunate, I had help the last year which was the hardest. For me, it was an honor to care for my mom. Try and get some relatives or friends to help you out. A few hours for you to take s nap is better then nothing. Accept any offers of help even if not directly involved with the caring of your mom but help with food shopping and housekeeping which will give you extra time. God bless and good luck
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In NY as of 2014 (the last I checked, medicaid will pay $13 an hour). If you are a 24 hour caregiver, you will be paid for only 13 of those hours. I can't tell you what to do, but I will say it is harder than you can possibly imagine. I'm not happy with the care my mother is getting in the nursing home, either. I hate how much money they're getting paid to "take care" of her. Nonetheless, I would not take her home. I supplement. When I visit and something needs to be done (for example, flossing teeth or changing clothes) I do it. I also hired a sweet nursing student to go in 3 times a week. Perhaps before you take your mom home for good, take her home for the weekend and see how that works. As much as I hate mom's nursing home - and I do mean HATE- I'm grateful to have her meals provided, access to clean linens, and being able to sleep at night knowing she's in a locked unit. No, it isn't much. However, if I didn't have it, it would be much. Please think twice before taking this on. Pamstegma was NOT exaggerating when she said it will kill you sooner than you think. That was quite literal. Please take heed. Maybe try a different nursing home first...
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I could barely take care of my husband for one week at home. Even with in home care, etc. from Medicare and paid help it wasn't enough. I agree with Pam above that it will kill you especially if the person is bedridden like my husband. I had a horrible time and so did my husband. After one week at home, he went to hospice where he died a few days later. So looking back, I think he should have been in hospice a lot sooner. But who knows this! The in home nurses, etc. didn't really help with that kind of assessment. I had to take my husband to his Oncologist who decided he should go to hospice and he was able to get him in a facility that same day. Which was blessing because he died being well taken care of and not stressed out when he was home.
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Someone tell me please HOW to get MEDICAID IN NY STATE. I was promised the MOON by some agency, oh, he said my mother would get hours of care every day, hours!!! This agency lied to my face. I found out Medicaid for at home care is being phased out. Medicaid would pay for a few hours of some kind of day care a week. I don't know if that even covered the transportation to take her there, not that she would go anyway.
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Who said Phased out, they just got a lot of money from Obama! You need to call Servicelink
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Reverseroles
I looked into the medicaid waiver programs in New Hampshire. They say:Medicaid Planning - Medicaid has very restrictive financial eligibility requirements. AAAs will help to explain the requirements but will not and cannot offer any assistance in helping families to comply with or meet those requirements.

I am in Mass. I engaged a elder affairs lawyer to assistance in helping me to comply with and meet Mass Health requirements. It was exspensive and it was complicated. Or local AAA manages delivery for us.

Late in my search I discovered SHINE (Serving Health Insurance Needs of Elders) Program ... SHINE services are free, unbiased, and confidential.
Here SHINE offices are located locally and have SHINE concelors available through the Councels on Aging. The manager I contacted was a wonderful help.
I have yet to find anyone tell me what the full battery of service are or will be. The standard answer I get is we cant tell you until....

I did not select the choices option and get help through agencies that are VETED and Insured etc..... Choices would have meant hiring aids at $10.and change.

SHINE (Serving the Health Insurance Needs of Everyone) is funded by the Agency for Community Living and coordinated by the Massachusetts Executive Office of Elder Affairs in partnership with the Friends of The Milford Senior Center.
60 North Bow Street, Milford, MA 01757, USA 1-800-243-4636,
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Thank you UncleDave, appreciate it.
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This question has come up many times. Difficult answer bc we're all different on here...some have jobs, some are older, some have elderly parents living in different states. Some have the capability to earn a wage and some need a paycheck as a caregiver.
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It's so sad that some states do well by their elders and family caregivers (MA is one) while many others do poorly and some do next to nothing. Is helpful in finding out state specific information that can lead you to resources. There's always a learning curve but check out this site for starters.
Take care,
Carol
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You are right, Carol; and, unfortunately it boils down to politics and money. It is my understanding that each governor chooses whether or not to participate in Medicaid. If they choose not to participate, of course, the state receives no federal money. When that occurs, the state budget has to accommodate the people who would have been covered. I know that is simplistic. Please forgive me if this has already been discussed. I haven't followed this thread since the beginning. I tried to make the time that my mom was in ALF pleasant for the two of us, and I am thankful that I could. The ALF and the owner were like family, so I have no complaints there. It is just sad to lose one's independence, especially when people have limited funds and family. The ALF accepted Medicaid residents, and I saw some very sad situations there.
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Chari, what was different about the Medicaid residents at the ALF? I'd always been told they weren't supposed to be treated any differently
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Hi Deb. The two individuals I was recalling when I posted last night went to the ALF at the same time. I don’t know if they knew each other or not, but they were fairly young, late 20s to mid 30s. They were placed in a room designed for one person, with one bathroom. I was there everyday at different times and spent a considerable amount of time with my mom. I never saw one person visit either of them. Their clothing was limited. They were treated the same by the facility, other than being in a shared room. I don’t know if they had a guardianship or what their situation was. They didn't have money to go on shopping days or outings. They just sat outside sometimes, but spent most of their time in the room. I guess I was thinking how sad it is to be in any facility, with little or no money or family, and see nothing ahead of you except another day like any other. We weren't sure about my second job being able to cover costs for my mom, so I visited some of the fully Medicaid funded facilities while narrowing down Mom's choices to some near me; and, I can tell you they were very, very sad. Most looked like hospital rooms, with two to a room and no personal furniture. They were understaffed, dirty and smelly. Residents were looking for staff, but could not contact any with the emergency chords or trying to walk around looking for them. There was one facility that was so malodorous before I even got to the front door of the building that I didn't bother going inside. What I was saying was to agree with Carol that it is sad how different states provide for elderly care within the context of Medicaid. I hope I answered your question. I will be glad to be more specific if I didn't cover what you wanted to know. It's great to know that people like you are interested now. Can you imagine the situation already starting to grow as the baby boomers need senior assistance?
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Oh, Chari, thank you so much; I had actually always felt that way, just that I've heard people express that I shouldn't be concerned because, like I said, they would say they couldn't be treated differently and I am glad to hear the facility itself didn't; does sound it was good they were at least in that one, but I admit I was surprised to learn you were talking about younger people; not sure I would have thought they would have been in a place like that, unless maybe it's just a terminology thing, like I have both a friend's sister and a cousin of mine who are in what they call "group homes", so do you think that would be the same thing? I hadn't even thought about whether they shared rooms or not; I may try to find out - what does that say that I don't even know, hm...however, having said that, honestly when I first started reading, even though you said ALF, I was reminded of two other young people I knew who were actually in nursing homes but that was a while ago, maybe they didn't allow or have either the ALF's or group homes then? again, maybe this is saying something but I didn't really know either one well, so I didn't visit much, but did at least one of them some - actually the other I didn't personally know at all - but did wonder how much either one of them; well, any of them got/get visited - like I don't really believe my friend visits her sister very much, but then some of that goes back into the family dynamics before she was ever placed there; do you think there could have been some of that in those situations, not necessarily saying that makes it any less sad, just saying...not sure exactly in the other situations but do think somehow my friend tries to make sure her sister does have money to go on at least some outings - not sure how that personal allowance thing works, if the facility could - or maybe does - have it, so not entirely sure if she does it out of the sister's own money or if she tries to give her some out of her money, which, at least in her case, wouldn't necessarily be that easy; again, you think maybe that could be some of the issue there? guess I'm kinda amazed; you're willing to work a 2nd job to help take care of your mother? wow - but I do agree; I have seen - or should I say smelled - the difference in facilities, so thankful we never had to do that with my parents because I do fear, considering what they had allowed to happen with their finances - or maybe I should have considered doing what you're doing; honestly it never occurred to me, though maybe it would have had it gotten to that point - which facility they would have had to have wound up at - my mom, especially - though not sure if she realized - and don't mean dementiawise, just maybe financial wise - was adamant she was not going to one in particular, so...but just today I was actually at a clinic for my dil and had granddaughter - maybe way too much so - out walking; this place was connected to the hospital and also their "just" rehab facility; as we stepped off the elevator onto the 1st floor of the rehab she - my 5 yr. old gd - commented on the odor to such an extent we just turned right around and got right back on the elevator and got out of there but I was just so saddened by that, could hardly believe it, that it was so bad a child picked up on it - I am concerned - but, hey, maybe it made such an impression on her she'll take care of me? think? lol - but seriously, I do think about this and do wonder
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