How is my mother's power of attorney held accountable for financial decisions?

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Vicksky - all above advice is dependant upon where you live & laws pertaining to such - I find keeping bank officials abreast of what's going on plus keeping mom's account in a bank I never used personally however the law here may not be the law where you live as I believe you live in a different country -
I find some items here perplexing because that isn't an item we need to deal with here - thanx for opening my eyes - hope you have a good resolution -
I found by announcing that the secrecy ended with me being in charge helped - so without any legal need I have kept rest of family abreast of any major changes plus an unofficial report every 12 to 18 months [more than they could legally expect which was =0] has helped to no end - however once I did a report in sept & then was asked for year end to which I said every 12 to 18 months is what you'll get but I have no obligation to do so -
In other words don't bug me if it's less than a year - those reports take days to get together & I feel she gets more than she deserves because I don't need to do any of it ... she's backed off but I think that is her husband saying 'shut up or you'll be taken out of loop' which I'll do if she raises issue again - I try to be nice but I will not be dictated to by those who don't have any standing [but wish they did] as you must stay firm with this type of issue
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I visited about 8 different assisted living /memory care places before I found the one I chose for my friends. It had to be large enough for husband and wife since the wife was lost without her husband near. She had frontal temporal dementia, he short term memory loss. This facility in a St. Paul suburb just took one of the assisted living floors and converted it to memory care, which is why they could offer different sized apartments. They removed the stove from the kitchen, but everything else is there. We furnished it with my friends' own furniture. The wife only lived there about 5 months before passing away. The husband's health is good, just his memory is an issue. I am relieved he is happy there and has made new friends in the dining room. He is content and I don't go into any detail about what I am doing as I go through their condo to get it ready to sell. He is still coherent, but can't remember more than a minute anything he says or is told.
The facility is one of the older ones in the area and perhaps that is why their rates seem lower. It looks like a New England inn with white clapboard siding and is situated on the shores of a lake. The man who was in charge of leasing when I was searching for a place was impressed that just a friend would do all this work for his friends and he and I hit it off. He left shortly after my friends got there to have a more flexible schedule to care for his own father with dementia problems. Now he sells real estate and will help me fix up and sell my friend's condo. So before I was anywhere near to thinking about the selling stage, someone came into my life and became a friend just when I needed this. I am in awe of the "coincidences" that have occurred in taking on this role and work for my long-time friends. With no children or close relatives, I am spared all the negative family dynamics I read about on this site and my job seems much easier as a result. It is still a big undertaking, but no bad feelings are there to deal with. To "retire" to lake front accommodations with all the meals provided and with excellent monitoring and care seems like a pretty good "ending" for my intelligent and religious friend.
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I am JTOWROS on my dad's checking account, but I have my own checking account as well as a joint account with my husband. They all are used by me, for various expenses depending on whose expense it is. I'm dad's poa as well as my husband poa (we aren't unwell, just got it done early rather than be without). Nobody at the bank has any trouble with me being on 3 accounts nor did the lawyers say anything about it being illegal to have a joint account. I havent 'paid' myself for time doing things for dad, but some day if it got to be more significant time and if he wanted to pay me, I don't see how it would matter, who exactly wrote the check, as long as time was documented. Like what if dad needed to go to ER which is 20 mins away and the whole ordeal took 10 hours, in the middle of the night?
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Okay, here's a few questions for thoses who say don't have your name in any accounts. How are you suspose to write checks to pay for the principles expenses? And, if you end up using your own money to pay for somethings- how do you get reimbursed? My moms DPOA document says I may take payment for my duties as her DPOA, who would write me a check? If there is a third party involved to write checks to me - what's the point of me being POA and not them in the first place?
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Vicksky, I think Pam meant Medicaid compliant contract.
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Pam is absolutely correct. DO NOT EVER COMMINGLE ACCOUNTS with the grantor of the POA. Keep your bank accounts, loans, mortgages separate or you are just asking for legal trouble. You do not become the other person when acting as POA, so don't start suddenly mixing your finances as if you were the other person. There is absolutely no reason to share bank accounts with the grantor of the POA, to cosign a loan or to pay for things out of your own bank account. These are ALL commingling of funds and in some states is illegal. The POA has a fiduciary duty to always act in the best interest of the grantor of the POA. Providing a full accounting to the beneficiaries has no bearing on the commingling of funds, and they are not who you are worried about anyway. If you share a bank account with the POA or a credit card, etc., it doesn't matter what accounting you have done, you are liable because the account is YOURS. I can't think of a worse mistake when acting under the POA then having joint accounts, not only is it illegal in most instances, it opens the door for all kinds of financial liability.
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Pamstegma, i am not familiar with the Medicaid Complaint Contract but imagine it must be some document for POA'S to avoid complaints from Medicaid (?). JohnnyJ, in my medium size metro area (think Madison Wisc) the memory care units are more like 10 grand a month. These Memory care units typically are a "studio" apartment sized 600 sf. They do not have full kitchens since memory care patients have lost ability to do kitchen activities safely. There are Assisted Living centers with 2 Bedrooms, near me, but with services such as RX help, light housework, and 2 meals a day, run about 5 grand a month. If there is an additonal person in the 2BR unit it costs additional (mostly for meals but also quite significant cost for RX help). My dad looked at all options, and together with option of living with my family of 5, he chose to live with us, his family, instead of a facility. I think it is hard to talk with people on these forums and really be understood. I will check with my lawyer office next week about the Medicaid Complaint Contract, thar sounds serious. Dad is fine here with us now, but only receives Social Security. No pension. We feel blessed to have him with us for however long. If some reason he needs more care than we can do, we will have to apply Medicaid. So I better check in about the Complaint contract. I dont need any complaints that's for sure!
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Hej Vicksky,
The $7300 figure I used was last month's memory care cost. It goes up and down depending on the number of days in the month. His memory care apartment consists of a small, walk-through kitchen with room enough for a kitchen table and chairs, sink, appliances and cupboards, a decent sized bedroom with adjoining bath and shower and a smaller room with a couch, recliner, end table, coffee table and his tv console. This facility also has two bedroom apartments and efficiency apartments to choose from on their memory care floor. Plus, the care seems first rate. He never uses any of the kitchen other than to set something on the table since all his meals are provided in the dining room, but loves his recliner, tv, daily newspaper and spends most of his time there in that space. He doesn't join in the activities provided, never was a game-player.
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Vicksky, the sticky part is that a POA cannot pay themselves. So you sit down with an attorney and draw up a Medicaid complaint contract for tax prep, chauffeuring services, etc.
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This is such an intriguing discussion! I have not aksed my dad to be paid for all the time I spend driving him to dr's appointments for example, or church (different from my own). But he has certainly offered to pay me, for gas, or take me out for Sunday brunch. I usually decline because I have so much to do at home with 3 teenagers/college age. But he does have an aide who comes in 2x a week and this young man is paid almost $100 for noon-3pm. Sometimes they go to McDonald's (my dad loves it...) or bowling alley, there is a good daily special there. This is so wonderful that he can get out of house 2x a week. And it is "guy" time. My point is yes, there is some times for the POA to be paid for actual work, and certainly the "market" for those workers who assist the seniors is going to be $100 for a short afternoon's time. I know i can do my dad's tax retuns on TurboTax in about 3 or 4 "short afternoons" but I have never asked to be paid for this, however it would seem to be justified since, i can ONLY do one thing at a time! I can do dad's taxes or I can bring my daughter to soccer, but not both! And, if I am forced to sacrifice a soccer practice to bring dad to Urgent Care, all of a sudden, that should be considered OverTime pay. Come to think of it, does anyone have an actual work contract attached to their POA, or separately? Maybe that would quell many siblings concerns if the principal had a contract in place.
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