How many of you are full time caregivers?

Follow
Share

I mean, just you, not working outside of home or any help from family.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
8

Answers

Show:
Jani, I love that quote about being trusted so much. I ask God everyday why I was chosen to take care of my mother. I am tired, lonely and sometimes angry but I get up each day and do the best that I can for her. I know you are doing a great job and I wanted to say thank you for all you do.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I have been doing this now for 4 years at first my dad could still do things for himself, but I can safely say for the past 2 years ive been doing the full time job ,the 3 shifts,the nights and days. Where I am right now is I am finding it very difficult to watch my dad be a little less than each day. He just turned 90 and he is doing great for his age, but the day to day struggles that he tries to hide just brings tears to my eyes. I have been a caregiver for many years now caregiving for someone elses parents, and I can truly say that its a much easier task when doing it in a professional manner. But the one thing that puts a smile on my face well it one of those good days. I have gotten to know my father in a whole new way and when im gone for a day or two, I truly miss his company, when I was younger I truly put all my trust on my dad and he never let me down, and now the shoe is on the other foot being his youngest I hope that I make a difference in his quality of life, and I hope that he can trust in me to be there, because no matter what., im here for him, it is not all peaches and cream and I have issues and yes I need time for myself. but what I need and what is presented to me might not be one in the same but I do thank god for giving me thos opportunity , its like that old saying " God will only give u what u can handle" sometimes I feel like he has a little too much faith in me, thank u all for your posts and for listening to me I have found a great outlet even if it is 4 am lol happy new year everybody and have a great day
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I am full time since last Sept. My Mom, 92, fell last June at her home and has been in and out of hospitals and 2 nursing homes for "rehab" which only seemed to add more problems.She was fine up until that fall and walked with a walker. She is at our home now after the 3rd. hospital stay since June. She lost the ability to stand or walk when she fell in June and is pretty much bedridden now. We have to use a hoyer to get her into the wheelchair for her doctor's appointments and a special transport service, and this is always stressfull but we are glad when it has been accomplished.She is very sharp still and at least I can get her to read or watch educational programs when she is not napping. The only way this caregiving works is for her to be in our home where I can go in and out of her room to attend to her yet also take small moments at a time to catch up on housework and bills, etc. There are no siblings to help. I have a nurse and a physical therapist come in. I am tired of hearing physical therapy tell me for 6 months that she will walk again but right now the therapist is working on getting her to stand and transfer to the wheelchair. She says she is ready to pass on but no one seems to listen to her and they keep pumping her up about walking. When does this cross the border from optimistic to just plain naive?
At first all this wore me out but I am getting used to the routine by taking it one day at a time, one morning or afternoon at a time, even an hour at a time.
There are good and bad days full of worry....more bad than good sometimes. I am just glad when each day is in and it went as usual. I make a little time for myself here and there to read or look at decorating magazines or a little TV but there isnt much time for even that.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Oh my. I'm sorry you have all that on your shoulders. My dad is 77. I try to relax when my husband comes home and i'm not alone anymore. We try to watch a good movie or play a game or play ukelele. Last week i got really lucky and my neice came for the day so i could go shopping with my mom-in-law. Not relaxing but got a day away. Unfortunately it does'nt happen often. I used to read but feel guilty when i do..part of burnout i guess. I also have 3 cats that give me happiness during this. I'm sorry you're dealing with Alzheimers must be the hardest thing ever. This site has great people on it that have suggested many helpful things and I don't feel so alone anymore. I hope even with everything you're going through you can enjoy your holidays. Peace to you. -Cindie.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I have lived with Mom for just over 2 years now, since Dad became ill and passed away. He fell at home in August 2012 and passed in January 2013 - he never got to come home after that fall sent him to the hospital.

I work from home, so I'm here 24/7, pretty much, which is stressful in and of itself. I have *some* occasional help from family, but none of them come on a regular basis to give me a break. I take one Sunday a month to visit my grandkids, and someone checks on Mom a couple of times, but we're to the point now where I need to hire someone to come and spend most of the day with her while I'm gone. It's just not safe to leave her alone anymore.

We have an appointment with a caregiving agency after Christmas to do an evaluation on Mom and see what we need as far as help.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Been at it for 10 years also. My Mom has Alzheimer's, is blind, can't walk or stand, hands are contracted so she can't feed herself. I am so tired by the time I tend to all of her needs. How ill is your loved one and how do you relax?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I am. I have been doing this for 10 years now..first for my mom who passed from breast cancer then my dads parkinsons got steadily worse. I am now at a scary time where dad wakes up crying scared because he can't move his legs right away. My siblings are basically to selfish to help (dad is a stepdad and i'm his only true sibling and i tell ya i'm feeling it now. It is the hardest and scariest thing i have ever done..not to mention depressing. I am waiting for spring to have a caregiver in. Then i will have some time for my husband and I. If you ever need to talk message me...maybe i can help. Hang in there and Merry Christmas!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I was for 19 long months. It about killed me. It seemed to start out alright in the beginning, but as my mother got worse, so did my ability to deal with the situation. We moved my mother into assisted living in April of 2014...I talked with the administrator and cried with the administrator. She told me that she didn't know how I did it as long as I did, and that I was doing the work of a full staff, 3 shifts within a 24 hour period. I returned to school, and the majority of my classes are online. I thought it was going to be the perfect situation. My youngest daughter graduated from high school in 2012, then my dad died that summer. My daughter moved out to start college, and mom came to live with us a couple of weeks later. It was fine until she started to bother me when I was trying to study...the next BIG problem was her days and nights were mixed up. My very patient husband even said, "We can't go on like this". A statement made after getting mom back to bed at 3:30 a.m. (she decided it was time to feed the cats at that hour). Mom still walked and took herself to the bathroom..slowly, but I bathed and dressed her, fixed all of her meals, did her laundry..cleaned up any messes that came about. Sadly, mom is in a wheelchair now (she can still stand a little to transfer)..she is in diapers all the time. I know I couldn't have continued at the pace I was. Being a full time caregiver is hard. We are here if you need to talk or vent!!!! What you are doing isn't easy...even in the best of situations.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions