How many men take care of their partner or parents compared to women?

Well my 2 cents is that it is more women, we tend to outlive men so there would be more of us left. I am lucky that my husband is an old retired nurse so taking care of severely hurt and immobile people is something he is accustomed to.Thank god for me, I was the one that wrote about the dangers of constipation and pain meds. This is embarrassing, but he was the one that gave me the mineral oil enema that he heated that finally helped, I though I was going to die, . I told him he really kept his vows that day.

My dad who has his own health issues and always depended on my mom to keep things running has recently picked himself up dusted himself off admitted he's had it easy and can be found at any given hour of the day toile ting my mom, cleaning the carpet, etc. We split her care as well as we can manage and I try to give him some of his own special tlc. I am primary caregiver but couldn't do it 24/7...thank God for him. My husband chips in by trying to take care of himself while I'm gone 12 hours a day...we all feel like we're at the end of our tether but really it could be so much worse.

Right know Cap i only own a pair of skates and the old ones with 4 wheels and metal shoe and lace toes.... I reckon they will be worth a fortune in years to come?? They are my retirement money!!!!

essentially giving a portion of your life to someone else is a huge undertaking and i respect the h*ll out of anyone who does the job and takes it seriously , male or female ..
i believe pam was saying that a man / wife caregiving team was a most effective arrangement . of course . two people can accomplish twice as much with half the effort ..
kaz, what kind of mechanical device do you have, i could put a 383 hemi on the sob and turbocharge it for you .

Kazzaa, that a good question. I my opinion, I am not sure I could deal with it, and I doubt my significant other would be able to deal with it if it was I who developed Alz/dementia. It's just not in his nature. He didn't do well when I got cancer. He almost found his bags packed sitting at the curb.

My boss's wife is in her 12th year of Alzheimer's and she is still a very gentle soul. She hasn't given him an ounce of trouble, never has been combative, rarely a cross word. But I can tell he is quite frustrated because this isn't what they had planned for retirement. He took a couple years away from his business to stay with her but he found himself becoming very depressed and his mind was going to mush.... he now feels a lot better working 6 days a week, and now has a Caregiver caring for his wife. But after being on this website forums, I have seen there are a huge variety of issues regarding said illnesses. We never know what we will be handed.

Ive a good question how many people here would look after thier partner if he/she developed Alz/dementia?

Fix my car for firewood?? thats not a bad deal Captain you should fix thier cars and demand a clean house all year round!! Oh and when you say you keep thier mechanical things working we are talking cars RIGHT??????? LOL sorry just sounded funny!!

In my caregiver support group it's about 50/50. And those guys seem really devoted.

i simply prefer the company of women , kaz . occasionally ill meet a man who knows a lot about engines and such and we find a lot to talk about but by and large , i like women . they make great trade partners . i keep their mechanical things working , they help me clean my s*ithole house occasionally .. lol
the ones who trade fairly always have firewood , the unfair ones dont last long with me ..

Oh im sure he would have i mean marriage is all about "in sickness and in health" right? If i ever do meet a nice man i think we would need to discuss this and i would tell him to run away and put me in a nice home with lots of drugs!!

kazzaa: Maybe the men just don't "share" as much as women do that's to say on-line or even to one another. I doubt my husband would do for me, what I do for him. Like said above, he's from another time and it's considered woman's work. He only does what he wants, when he feels like doing it. I probably allowed that to happen since I was home with the kids and he had a hard job (when he worked). He was in construction so it was no work if weather wasn't cooperative. He didn't want me to work outside the home as he felt people would think he couldn't support us. But he couldn't...eventually I did work outside the home and good thing I did to supplement income. If the woman doesn't work oiutside the home when she "retires"...no social security income for her.

When I think about it, my Dad [92] wouldn't make a good hands-on Caregiver because he feels that is *women's work*.... thank goodness with each new generation there is less and less of that stereotype.

I find that hard to believe Cap? i thought youd be a mans man? maybe the men are jealous of your "charm"!!

ive read that its a rapidly growing number as more women are filling professional positions and men are jerking around in construction and have more flexible schedules ..
i could care for elder females but dont get along that well with men to consider intimately caregiving for them ..

I mean look here more women than men?

My brother and his friend were having a conversation at xmas in the kitchen about this and they decided that its a womans job to look after the mum??????? they said they couldnt handle the hygiene issues her dignity etc. They said they would look after a father?? My friend a male looked after his mum with cancer part-time then years later his girlfriend got cancer and he nursed her too? so i think it depends but i would say alot more women do it!

I found this: "Of the 43.5 million adults who care for an older family member or friend, nearly two out of three are female, according to a report published by AARP and the National Alliance for Caregiving (NAC). Still, that means that one out of three caregivers — about 14.5 million — are men." http://www.aarp.org/relationships/caregiving/info-07-2010/ginzler-male-caregivers.html

Pamstegman, is there any way to figure out the numbers??

Yes they do, with all the compassion and devotion you would expect from any couple. Many are shunned by family and the loneliness is ten times greater, the isolation is razor sharp. We consider them comrades in arms.