My mom would do the same thing. Cat nap off and on during the day and be up all night. Since someone has to be watching her 24/7 and that someone was me, I was becoming delirious, impatient, depressed, wanting to just melt down. The Doctors could see it was destroying me and without me there is no one to watch mom and no money to hire. Mom would be relatively calm during the day but at sundown she started getting tired which made her more demented which made her more anxious which made her more busy. The Doctor gave her a script so I could give her a Xanax at bedtime. I told her to lay on the couch and watch tv with me cuz it's quiet time and we don't want to wake everyone up. Once she started to fall asleep I would take her to her room and she would gladly get in bed and fall straight back to sleep. Since we started that, she sleeps 8 to 10 hours in the night and doesn't cat nap during the day. I know people hate medicating and I was one of those people but the caretaker needs to get sleep or they are no good to anyone.
I know exactly what you mean Bonnie but I have a sneaking suspicion that nobody gives a damn as to whether I burn out or not - until it happens of course then everyone will care - not for me but what on earth are we going to do with your mum? SO I learn to live with no sleep and learn to cat nap when I can
Someone is always wondering about this, it seems as though they are either sleeping around the clock or never sleeping at all. The ideal of course is the normal sleeping patterns of any adult, 8 or so hours, but as the body wears out it is common for them to sleep more. Those who are up all night are hard on their caregivers and can often be helped with medication.
Sleep? Whats this sleep you all talk about? Mum dozes - a lot - it isn't sleep. She does sleep but probably only about 2 hours at a time and not always at night. When I spoke to the docs they all said let her sleep when she needs to we would prefer not to medicate. So although obviously they CAN medicate it is just not a given that they wil.
It would be nice if out older family member could or would sleep when you wanted them to, but each person is sleeping when they become tired. Do we as the caretakers force medication on them just to have their sleep patterns fit our lives? Yes it would be nice if they slept when you did and yes care takers need to be aware of the wakefulness at night. Think of these sleep patterns like that of a baby, just the reverse, newborns sleep in very small amounts and as they grow sleep longer but not as often by two or three they sleep over night. For our older ones it is the reverse and each will sleep as the body slows down.Worst case you will have to sleep to their schedule or get a person to be with them at night so you can sleep. Maybe a college student who needs a bit of cash and doesn't sleep much at night might work for some of you.If I come up with other suggestions I will add to these suggestions.
There is no right out wrong answer. My 86 year old mother would go through Cycles where she would sleep almost all day to staying awake all day. To minimize the peaks and valleys, she was put on trazodone 50 mg which made her sleep 16 hours which was way too much. The dose was reduced to 25mg and it helped. I only gave it to her if she was still awake passed 10pm. However, everyday and long-term use is not recommended because it can cause medication induced Parkinson's Disease. My mother was taken out of it 3 month before she passed away.
HI Jo I know the doc aint the caregiver but he acts like god most of the time. The conversation goes like this. We are all in there together Mum me and the doc. Doc ...How are you Mrs XXXXX Im fine Doc looks at me Actually Mums sleep pattern is very disturbed and because she is awake a lot at night I am not getting the sleep I need At this point all looks on track Right Mrs XXXX lets give you a little help to sleep I don't want to go to sleep But these tablets will help you relax I don't want any tablets I take too many now But they would help you get some proper rest Judith (now that means trouble) we are going now - we haven't even been offered coffee and obviously not wanted here.....erm where did that come from But Mum the doc just wants to help you Then perhaps he will kill me I want to die At this point the doc writes a prescription to increase Mums anxiety tablets strength - and says we will come back to the sleeping next time
One tho't for ohJude.........someone suggested we talk to our Mom's DR at separate appt (called a consultation) so we could get the help & med's we needed! I didn't know that was an option! The DR was great and caring AND was always in-out within 10min's or LESS when we saw him WITH her. We always had to MAKE a list of Qs ahead or NOT get the help and answers we needed! THE consultation helped greatly BC we were the ones who needed support and help to not only DEAL with her anxiety and behavior issues but to make our caregiving more EFFECTIVE too! SADLY the medical field is not there to assist the caregivers......and YET it really is a TEAM effort. Not sure the medical industry realizes that yet!? Bottom line......we, as caregivers, are left to find the resources and strategies that work for each of us in our given situation. I can only offer this now from hindsight.......because my in-laws (mom and dad) are now safe in the nursing home that is needed for them at this stage of their "dementia's".......and they BOTH are adjusting better than we expected! This was a long road (5 plus years--lost track) of me being the KEY support/caregiver for my SO/sig-other who was the primary/live-in/caregiver for his mom and dad 24 /7. I have my own place 1/2 hr away.....and would not have survived this emotionally or mentally any other way. I was there 5-7 days a week for the last 2 yrs. for 3-8hrs at a time. AND we had medical home-care AND hskpg-home-care the last year and a half....which helped enormously. Social workers, I found, are the best sources of help for listening to me and directing me as a caregiver's-caregiver-in-crisis to the info/sources we needed......hope this helps some.
I sadly don't get the chance to see a doc on my own. Because we can be kept waiting I just couldn't guarantee I could stay long enough and they get pissy if you leave before you have seen a doc.....like it is only their life that matters! As for Mum letting me see the doc on my own .... aint ever gonna happen. We even tried me seeing the doc while she had a blood test - nope she demanded I went with her. Sighs dependency can be a b*tch
Cycles where she would sleep almost all day to staying awake all day. To minimize the peaks and valleys, she was put on trazodone 50 mg which made her sleep 16 hours which was way too much. The dose was reduced to 25mg and it helped. I only gave it to her if she was still awake passed 10pm. However, everyday and long-term use is not recommended because it can cause medication induced Parkinson's Disease. My mother was taken out of it 3 month before she passed away.
Doc ...How are you Mrs XXXXX
Im fine
Doc looks at me
Actually Mums sleep pattern is very disturbed and because she is awake a lot at night I am not getting the sleep I need
At this point all looks on track
Right Mrs XXXX lets give you a little help to sleep
I don't want to go to sleep
But these tablets will help you relax
I don't want any tablets I take too many now
But they would help you get some proper rest
Judith (now that means trouble) we are going now - we haven't even been offered coffee and obviously not wanted here.....erm where did that come from
But Mum the doc just wants to help you
Then perhaps he will kill me I want to die
At this point the doc writes a prescription to increase Mums anxiety tablets strength - and says we will come back to the sleeping next time
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