How many days of my Mom not eating before I need someone to step in?

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Stepdad and I are caregivers. Today is the second day of not eating. My mom has Alzheimers and I am her daughter. Only one of 6 kids that stepped in to help. My stepdad went away for a much needed break for 8 nights. Good for him I say. She has whined 24/7 since he has been gone. We haven't said when he is coming back only soon or in a day or so. Because I am the change in the house I get the brunt of her verbal bashings. Now she has decided not to eat. today is day 2 and still no food. I notice her complaining about something stuck in her throat several times a day. How long before i call a doctor and have him intervene?

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Great article thanks so much.
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http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=149

an interesting article, might help?
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Check to see if she really has something stuck in her throat. Dementia in the later stages will prevent muscles from working. Get liquids in her, and get her husband back if you can. Just be patient and hopefully when he returns she will eat. Let the doctor know anyway what is happening.
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Hey NJ Cinderella I called the neurologist because that is her next appointment and her GP is an idiot. She finally ate, thanks to the suggestion earlier by STP. I was fully prepared to call an ambulance. She wouldn't eat if I asked her, you think she would get in the car to go to a doctor? not on your life. Thanks to this forum and several calls to the alz 800 line she started eating.
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I have healthcare power of attorney for my Mom who has dementia. She has been declining rapidly since beginning of February. Because I am the closest family member, it is just me and my kids, and really feel she should not be living alone, I am the brunt of all. Stealing checks, stealing mail and now even stealing her food.

COA is involved as well as APS, because she tells them I am mean to her,
and has instructed them not to let me know what is going on and even
signed a release. Since her demeanor has been going downhill, her Case
Manager has told me a few things.

As recent as last week, she walked 3 miles up a very busy highway and I had
to call the police after a friend saw her crossing a 4 lane highway.. They found her and took her home. It was very cold that day as well.

She frequently calls the police, 25 times in 6 weeks and they called me to see what her issue was. I gave them all the phone numbers of the caregivers she has assisting her living at home alone. I work full-time and she does not want to live with us. I feel she is unsafe in her home. Especially after taking off for a 3 mile jaunt up the highway.

What am I supposed to do when she is telling the caregivers helping her to stay in her home when they won't share information with me? I tried for guardianship last year and $1000 later, I was denied. They said she was physically fine to stay in her home. It is a mental issue not a physical issue.

I was urged to contact my attorney again. I did and he said unless APS is going to side with me, we would come back with the same result as last year. It is so frustrating... Help.
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wait 3 days w/o food and little water and your doctor said NOTHING? get a new doctor! you don't need to call a neurologist, call a GP or bring her to an urgicenter. But yeah find a new doctor. that's ridiculous. We had the same issue when my mother's sugar was so high that it wouldn't register and I forced my father to call her endo specialist. It was sunday and someone else on call not in the practice. they said nothing they could do and call the office on Monday. I was furious but my father is of the generation that whatever the doctor says is gospel and doesn't question anything. I said bring her to the ER because that is dangerous. He said doctor didn't make it sound that it was an emergency we'll wait til tomorrow. ok so he calls the next morning and they say come in at 4. 4pm?! again I said say its URGENT but he didn't press the issue and said well we're going in in a few hours...a few hours can be life or death to a diabetic with sugar that high...so finally at 4 he brings her in and guess what, they call the ambulance and sent to the hospital. yup, that's what I figured would happen. Now she's on insulin shots 4xs a day. sigh....
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If you wait too long it will be considered neglect. 2 days is long enough. call the doctor! if they say its ok then its off your shoulders but they probably will want to see her and possibly admit, if only for dehydration. She is not capable of assessing her needs but you are. Calling the doctor doesn't cost anything, why wait?
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Hey babalou, Mom actually has stage 5 Alzheimers. I did call her neurologist it was saturday and he was on call but unavailable. I also called the alzheimers association help line and nobody in my area was available. The reasoning behind thinking ultimately the not eating is rebellion is because she ate for her friend two days in row(this was day 3). She has the idea that I am her babysitter because her husband is gone at the moment ( much needed break for him). I am a caregiver but haven't said that outloud to her yet. I am going to be following up with her doctor for sure. By the way when she found out her husband is coming home the throat thing stopped. I have so far ducked from her throwing things. this week is was a knife...so that was fun. I find that when i ask her more than once or twice if she is ready to eat or is hungry she gets really agitated so I backed off from that. I am in my first month of being a caregiver so i am learning the language. i do not take offense to advice given here.
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Picasso; Your profile says that your mom has dementia. I wonder if you realize just how many parts of your mom's brain may be broken; that it may be the dementia that is in play here and not her trying to "play" you.

Your mom may no longer process how to get food, how to swallow, how to pick up a utensil, what room to go to. She's clearly hungry, but this is not like a three year old being hungry where, if you put food within reach, they will eat.

You really, really REALLY (and I'm real sorry if you think that I'm being harsh with you) need to get it out of your head that what is going on has ANYTHING to do with you and your mom trying to GET you. You need to step back and look at this from the persepctive of brain function. Which is why you should call her neurologist.
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Oh yeah I did that the first day. I was a chef for many years so I have always paid attention to what people eat and how much so i can have more ready. I put out small bowls of mixed nuts and salty sweet mix fresh blue berries and small grape tomatoes and even popcorn. Who can resist popcorn after they smell it popping. She knew she was hungry but didn't want help and couldn't process in her brain how to get something to eat. She was being rebellious and paying for it in the end. I am just happy she finally ate yesterday and came to me to eat last night.
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