I was a caregiver first for my dad, who died in Jan.13,2011 due to Pulmonary Fibrosis. I then cared for my mom who had multiple co-morbidities associated with a 20 year history of Rheumatoid Arthritis. Medications basically destroyed her body. She got sick with Flu like symptoms and died a week later, in March 11, 2012. She died emotionally the day my dad died and did not want to live.
I am an RN, and quit my job in the Emergency Room to care for my parents. (We had 3 sons in college at the time.)This way they could be at home with each other. Hospice helped with dad, but I was the caregiver, and managed both their lives while still encouraging their independence, and preserving their pride. I had siblings but they focused more on their inheritance than the responsibility that I had. I was the only daughter and the youngest. My parents moved 250 miles and relocated in the town we lived in, 6 months after we moved from them. They wanted me to care for them.
My biggest regret is that on Dec.31, 2010, my 50th birthday, I chose not to go over to see my dad that evening because I knew it would be my last birthday with him in my life.It was just too hard for me.He was in a state of transition from this world to another but he had a goal to live until his 80th birthday..Jan.11,2013. The next day, the nurse who spent that night with my dad, said he sang Happy Birthday to me. I cried then and still cry now.I should have gone over there.
Now, I am still defending myself from my brothers who have made false accusations about my intentions. They are on their third lawyer and third executor.
I was Executor but they didn't believe anyone so I resigned the position. In a way, I regret that I agreed to take on the responsibility, but my parents asked me to and my dad had everything set up for me, including contact names and numbers for events that would occur. I even helped him plan his funeral. I never expected my siblings to behave in this way. There were no thank yous, just criticism.
So, I too live with regrets, but I know to focus on the positives and everything I did for my parents. I loved them very much and we got along wonderfully til the very end.