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My husband has advanced Alzheimer's. He resists assistance with his personal care. He especially doesn't like his pants being lowered for toileting or taking off his shoes. He will punch and kick at his caregivers at times. Three days ago he had to be moved forty miles to a new facility with a men's behavior unit. Yesterday he did punch a caregiver when she was redirecting him in the hallway. They are making med adjustments hoping to improve his anxiety. Most of the time he is pleasant to be around. This place is very expensive and less appealing than where he was initially for three weeks. Should I hold out hope for his behavior to improve enough so he can be moved back to the nursing home much closer to home? When he was here I visited him every day. Now with the distance and possibly bad winter roads our time together will be must less. I'm praying for good quick results for him as we continue into our 54th year of marriage.

Juanita, I’m sorry for your distress in what proved to be your beloved husband’s final days. What a wonderful advocate you were for him! He was blessed to have you, I’m sure he always knew your love. I wish you the comfort of good memories and much peace
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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Juanita6 Nov 10, 2025
I appreciate your kindness. Jim was a very good husband. Up to the end, he did the best that he knew how. Yes, I think he still knew the love between us.
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So sorry for your loss. But what a nice time you had that day. What a nice way to be called home. Sitting and rocking in his chair.
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Juanita6 Nov 10, 2025
Thank you. It is a wonderful blessing to be left with a very special last memory of that day together.
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Usually with medication a move back to the facility can be managed, but this is going to have to be a day-at-a-time now, as you must know. A Forum of strangers will be the last to be able to guess what this will mean for your husband; we are all as unique as our own fingerprints. His medical team is the best group to ask questions regarding diagnosis, prognosis and medications.

I am so sorry you're going through this.
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Juanita6 Nov 8, 2025
Thanks for your insight concerning my husband. He was in that second facility for three weeks before he passed on two weeks ago. I'm happy that even on his last day there was alertness; we played catch and he gave me a few good smiles. 👍
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Juanita6..
Not much of a comfort maybe but your husband is now at peace both physically and mentally.
I hoe you are at peace as well. 🙏
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Juanita6 Nov 8, 2025
Yes, I also believe in the peace that passes all understanding. All is good. Thank you.
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I'm so sorry for your loss, but I'm glad he was able to pass away without pain and you were able to spend his last day with him. May God give you comfort and peace at this time.
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Juanita6 Nov 8, 2025
On my drive home from my visit with Jim on that last day, I was so thankful for the very good two hours we had just spent together. Thank you for your kindness.
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Thanks for your caring responses to the questions I've posed concerning my husband with Alzheimers. Jim passed away two weeks ago. I had spent two hours with him that afternoon helping him to shave, playing catch, and eating peanut butter cookies. Three hours later I received the call saying Jim had gone to sleep in his rocking chair and passed on. Thanks to the Lord that he went gently into his eternal life.
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Stardust Nov 8, 2025
I'm so sorry for your loss.
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If he is kicking and punched a caregiver, that is serious. He might very well get kicked out of this facility too, you might want to prepare for that. The best thing would be for his doctor to prescribe meds to calm him down and ease anxiety. It might make him very sleepy and slow to respond tho.ugh
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Juanita6 Oct 13, 2025
They are keeping track of all my husband's refusals for care and any times when he tries to become physically aggressive. That record would go with him to a different facility. I've learned that I can request a referral to another place whenever I want. But if there are still behavior issues the places I prefer close to home are not going to take him. We'll have to bide our time and pray for him to calm and adjust to his situation. Some med changes have been made and it seems as though there's been some improvements.
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Juanita6: Pose your question to his physician.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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Juanita6 Oct 13, 2025
Thanks. Of course no one really has an answer, because alzheimers is unpredictable. Wait and see is the only answer I have been given.
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His going back to any regular nursing home depends on the present neuropsych unit finding meds that render him nonviolent. At the doses deemed effective, being less ambulatory or responsive is expected. Being a vegetable is not. I would have a face to face with the don where you tell her exactly that.
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Reply to PeggySue2020
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Juanita6 Oct 2, 2025
Thanks for the advice. I'm hoping that he can still be aware and able enough to appreciate our time together.
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This really is a question for the Doctor and RNs caring for him.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Juanita6 Oct 2, 2025
I believe you're right on that. And I imagine that it will take some time for him and them to make the necessary adjustments in order to arrive at an answer. Sounds like all of us involved need to practice some patience. Thanks for your reply.
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