How long does it take a person with Alzheimer's to get used to a memory care facility?

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My husband just went into a memory care - He has early onset alzheimers and is only 68 years old and he has been in the facility for about 10 days. He has been diagnosed for about 6 years. I went to visit him yesterday and then today. Now he is asking to get out of there and go home. I feel so quilty

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pammypoo53: Do NOT feel guilty or beat yourself up over this change in what is best for your husband. Think about it for a minute...is he going to get better? Sadly, he is not and this is the best place for him. I know it's easier said than done. (((Hugs))) going out to you.
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08/23/16..... My Dad has sundowning, so sometimes he will call me at home from his Assisted Living asking to be driven home. Then I ask him to look around his room, does he see his furniture and he says "yes". That will satisfy him for awhile.
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How this was recently explained to me, and made sense in my husband's case, was that 'Home' is not a place. What a dementia patient is really seeking is a place of comfort. What they are expressing is dis-ease, or lack of a feeling of well-being. I was advised to allow my husband to be given Zoloft, starting at the minimum dose, which block the serotonin from draining from the brain. This, so I was told, would add to his sense of well-being and feeling of comfort.
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It could take anywhere from 2 weeks to 3 months. That's what the staff at my mom's NH told me. It took my mom about a month. Now, I'm going to answer a question you didn't ask, because I've been where you are.

When I read that your husband "asks to go home," I felt happy for his high level of functioning. When my mother entered a NH in November of 2014, she was speaking too. I took it for granted. She has now become non-verbal (mainly gibberish) and I can't tell what her preferences are or what she's trying to say. I would love to go back to the days when she asked to go home. My unsolicited advice is this: enjoy your husband. Revel in the fact that he is safe, cared for, and can communicate with you. While the weather is nice, take him out for the day. Hold hands, reminisce, listen to your favorite music together. Anything to enjoy the moment because with dementia, things may change at some point and you would have forfeited the wonderful times you could be having together right now.
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I live with my mom in the house we have lived in for over 30 years. Some days she tells me its getting late you better take me home. I just tell her you are home, this is your house. She looks around and that is the end of the conversation. Other days she says "I better call my mama because she weill worry that I"m not home yet". I have just learned to laugh and say ok we will call her later. She doesn't bring it up again.
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Some people never seem to adjust, however, some do.

When my cousin first went into Assisted Living, she asked about going home all the time. It was a constant thing, but, after she went into Memory Care, it stopped. She seemed to be so much more relaxed there and happy. That might be due to her medication though.

She now tells me periodically that she has decided to stay in her apt. That's what she calls it. She says it's so nice and she likes it. I tell her that I think that is a good decision. So, she believes she chose to live there and it's her decision. I support her in that.

I might suggest that you speak with the Resident Care Coordinator at his facility and see if they can provide him with some type of "job." Not a real job, but something that he can do to help.

My cousin goes into one of the offices that is on her wing of Memory Care, when the staff are in. She rolls her wheelchair around and chats with them and they sometimes give her something to fold or sort. (Depending on the day, she sometimes isn't able to use her hands well, but other days she can.) They chat with her as if she's a co-worker and she thinks she works there too. It makes her feel needed and that is a good thing.

Sometimes, I'll ask her if she's still working and she may say yes or she may say no, that she doesn't feel like it anymore.
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my mom asked to go home when she was home- 'home' is a state of mind we all want really.... It took her a few months to adjust and now takes comfort in the regular schedule and surroundings. I think it is mostly because I dont visit as much which reminded her that she "should" be remembering something else but doesnt. I told them to tell her she 'was' home, and they do- and point out all her things in her room- and she takes comfort in that.
No guilt, it takes time for you Both to adjust.
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My mom has been in care for 5 years and is still asking to go home, wherever that is in her mind. She does not recognize pictures of where she lived the last 40 years before moving to care.
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DO NOT take him back home! He may or may not recognize it but will definitely increase his level of confusion. My mom has been in memory care about 15 months, she still wants to go home, she will never adjust to being there. Just the way it is with many suffering with dementia. There is nothing for you to feel guilty about. Give yourself a break. You found him the care he needs and the best part of that is that you recognized you would not be able to do it. That is very hard for most.
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Please see if this article will help you understand; I wish I got this explanation when my mom was ailing last year. google oca
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