How long does it take for Medicaid to kick in when you’ve been admitted to a NH?

Hanging, what I think is that it makes NO sense to ask a dying person with dementia and brain metastases what they want to do about anything more complicated than food and sleep. Get the letter of incompetency from the doc and fax it to the RM company. Tell whatever therapeutic fibs you need to to your mom.

I'm so sorry she's so ill, but hospice is the right choice right now.

Rocketjcat & BarbBrooklyn I’ve been told by everyone of the nursing staff that my mom NEEDS & SHOULD be told about her house..
I’ve been putting it off & having to lie, lie, lie about everything related to that..
When I bring my mom candy (she’s asked for chocolates since Valentine’s Day & Easter) so I bring them to her, but she doesn’t eat it all so she tells me “put the chocolate bunnies in the freezer for me & I’ll eat it when I get home”.
Or she keeps asking me to bring her checkbook so she can write a check to the landscaper that cuts the grass.
She’s constantly asking if her property tax bill came yet because she’s worried that needs to get paid soon...
I’m so stressed out by having to constantly lie to her about the house, but at the same time I know that’s all she’s got left to hold onto her old life.
Yes she was living there alone, but she keeps saying “that’s my life, all my memories, my keepsakes, my things are there”..little does she know I’ve sold the fridge, microwave, dining room table, most of the small kitchen appliances are gone.
I’m still gathering up all our family photos, trying to get her vintage clothing to a consignment store.
So much work I’ve been doing so I’ve been going to her house almost every night to get this all done, then I go see her at 9pm, sometimes later.
They’re all saying “she needs to know”.
One orderly who I spoke to has his mom there, he keeps telling me how he & his brother are POA for their mom (his brother is for finances, he is for health) & how they told her house needed to be sold & her Social security would be paid back to the NH as part of her Medicaid payment..
His mom IS blind tho’, so she was actually more receptive to living there in the NH because she’s not alone...whereas when she was living in her house, she was so worried about her failing eyesight & did’nt have anyone there to help her..
I understand the question/comment about telling a terminal woman who has dementia that she’s not going to have her house anymore & how shall I handle it but I’m not expecting her to really tell me what to do, I’m just relaying what the hospice nurse said I should say to my mom..
My mom is constantly telling me “I don’t belong here, I’m gonna get stronger & go back to the house”.

Hanging, I’ve never dealt with hospice nurses, so I don’t know if this is some sort of psychological purging they recommend? My Mom is on a version of hospice through her NH but it’s the same staff she always had. They wouldn’t say anything about finances. Their and my goal is all about keeping her happy:
How’s so and so. Good! Not.
Are the grandkids doing well? Yes! Not.
How can I afford this nice place? SS and your pension. Not.
What is this bump on my face? Pimple. Not.
I even get her out of the room when the recreation people start reading the newspaper and obituaries (!?) to everyone.
She wants everybody to be happy, so telling Mom the truth about some things would make her worry and she’s be upset. To me it would just be mean and serve no positive purpose. If you are seriously concerned about her health after hearing the news, I would think hard before telling her.

Rocketjcat & BarbBrooklyn I’ve decided to NOT tell my mom what’s going on w/her house.
I’m just going to continue “telling fibs” as long as I can or until I’m backed into a corner & she comes out w/the question “did they take my house yet?”..
I’ve thought about how very hard this whole ordeal has been for my mom, the anxiety it has & is causing her, her declining health has taken a rapid turn & I agree it would serve no other purpose to tell her she’s not going “back home” then to be mean & cause her extreme worry.
So I won’t do that.
I’m really not lookin forward to dealing w/the RM bank either..
Even when I do get the doctors letter, to tell the honest truth, I’m totally exhausted at this point (physically) getting all the stuff cleared out of my mom’s house & I’m still not 1/2 way finished.
I’m only concentrating on what else I can sell & what personal items I need to get out of there and/or destroy (banking statements, IRS returns from the past, etc) so I’m not really concerned w/the RM.
When & if I do get everything cleared out, and if THEY contact me sometime in the near future, I’ll respond then..
There’s really not much they can do to me legally anyway is there?
It’s not like they can withhold any profit from the sale of the house because there is none.
So they can coordinate what needs to be done w/out my participation.
I guess they would need to get the house keys from me to enter or maybe they’d get the police to break down the door??
I don’t know.
Can they (legally) force me to have anything to do w/them on my mom’s behalf??
I don’t know & @ this point, I don’t really care.
I’m too damn tired to care.