How long can this decline go on?

It really is a mystery how some very frail patients who appear to be near the end continue to live. My LO is almost at 6 years in MC. I think she may be have been there longer than any other resident in her unit. I sometimes see posts that I made around this site over a year ago and she was in her last days then! I struggle to understand why it has to be this way. Life is very unfair. I attribute it to the excellent care she receives in the facility.

Is the facility she is in a for profit or not for profit? If she has been private pay for awhile they may work with you for extended care. I have been told that about the present facility my mother is in although I haven't gotten to that point. A financial advisor also explained this to me. I believe a not for profit facility is more likely to help in this manner.

Your MIL's situation is very common. Many, many seniors need to apply for Medicaid since care is so ghastly expensive. My MIL is on it. She started out on private pay but she had few resources and ran out of money quickly. Being moved to a Medicaid bed means your MIL will be moved to a shared room, but all other care will stay the same -- this is assuming the NH she is in accepts Medicaid patients. I would make sure this is the case.

Before you help her apply for Medicaid, you and your husband should know that in a lot of states there is a 5-year "look-back" period that the county scrutinizes her financial activity and situation (so please check with her county to know how far back they intend to check). I would review her financials to make sure you don't have co-mingled funds, no gifting from her within that window, you are not co-signers on loans or credit cards, jointly own properties, etc. If you have any doubt about this, please consult an elder law attorney who specializes in this. If the county spots anything it doesn't like in the application, it could delay your MIL qualifying or incur penalties and then she'd be out of money when she'd need to still private pay. An attorney would be money well spent and it should be paid for out of your MILs funds.

Hi, yes sometimes it’s a long slow decline that’s painful to witness. You don’t say if MIL has other health issues besides the dementia, but the average stay in a NH is 2.5 years. My Mom was a little younger than your MIL and she was there almost exactly that. So you could just take the law of averages and guess she’ll be there another 1 1/2 years. If her funds won’t cover that, I think you may want to start looking at how to transition to Medicaid. Go on the Medicaid website for your state and see what needs to happen, and start thinking about organizing paperwork/bank statements/etc. With NH costs at $11K a month, there is no shame in that. There are very few people who can cover $11K a month. She may not even have to leave her current NH, as they will probably just transition her.
One other hint I learned from this forum is to watch her decline. If she changes from month to month, she probably has months left. If you see a decline each week she probably has weeks left. If day to day decline, it probably can be measured in days. This was spot on in my case. All hard to deal with, whether fast or slow.

Medicaid isn't the end of the world, most likely she will not even know where she is anyway.

So sorry that you have to deal with this, take care and keep posting, it will help.