Since Nov last year she has literally starved herself and has lost around 5 stones in weight. She's pitifully thin and gets really confused as she refuses to drink much as well. I look after her at home and its now becoming difficult as we work full time but we have carers in, we refuse to put her in a home. She also has Chronic Kidney Disease and has Arterial Fibulation. How long can this go on for its pitiful watching her. This is destroying my Husband.

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More than 15% of people have atrial fibrillation and live with it nicely as a chronic condition. When there are other co-morbidities of aging then likely it could contribute to a weakening heart pump. Kidney disease is of course chronic and will worsen leaving you with the sad decision whether to go with dialysis and other heroic measures which are in my humble opinion more a torture than anything else. You do not give us an age. You can, as an inactive elder, live with wasting and starvation a long long time, even with minimal amounts of food and fluid. Are you now considering hospice and palliative care?
Most nutritional drinks which others recommend are likely out with kidney disease. They are mostly protein and most sufferers of kidney disease are on protein limited diets. Though it is doubtful your MIL will take enough to make much difference one way or another.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
MaggieMagic Sep 15, 2020
Hi My MIL is 92 and honestly I think I have tried her with everything its heart breaking and no I don't think its fair putting  peg feed into her.
She has started to have falls these last few days as she's so weak.
I think the Dr has her on some sort of pathway as she has brought a letter stating that if she were to end up in hospital then to treat and send her back home where she is comfortable and in an environment where she knows, although she is always asking to go home .
Try giving your MIL some nutritional drinks such as ensure. She has to get some supplements.
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Reply to haileybug
haileybug Sep 10, 2020
May I add, while my husband was in the hospital for having a tripple bypass, he developed pneumonia. Long story short, he lost his appetite and would not eat anything. He is a diabetic and on a strict diet. The nurses talked to me and said they would let him "anything he wanted" just so he could build his strength up.

My husband still would not eat anything, They finally told him if he didn't try to eat something, he would have to get a feeding tube. Thankfully, he agreed to do the ensure.

My grandmother was in the nursing home and she just stopped eating. The doctor called and told my dad he would need to put a feeding tube in his mom.

I hope you can get her the help she needs. Bless you and your husband's heart.
She is pathetically thin, frail, confused and suffers from CKD and heart troubles yet you feel that her having to bear this alone with carers (not 24/7 I take it?) and family providing care is somehow better than being in a place where qualified personnel can see to her dietary, physical and social needs is somehow inferior? It broke my heart to place my mother in a nursing home and although I railed against the inherent limitations I knew that the care she received there was better than what I could give her myself. Sometimes there are no good solutions so you have to choose the least bad, and there is a lot to be said for handing a share of this terrible burden to those who are trained for it.
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Reply to cwillie

I’m sorry you’re watching this happen. My mother lived for three full weeks with no food at all and only what was termed minimal hydration. Her doctors advised us not to allow her to become dehydrated as that is a painful way to die, so she was given a little water every few hours, not enough to prolong her life but enough to ward off the pain of dehydration. I hope you’ve contacted both your mother in law’s doctor and hospice for guidance for this difficult time.
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Reply to Daughterof1930

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