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She is swelling in her legs and neck. At night she talks about the devil is chasing her. She also talk to our dad who has been dead for 29 years and to my daughter who is still living. She has bowel movements and doesn't know it. She is in rehab but she can barely walk. Should she be going threw this ?

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Thank you so much for this . It has been a blessing talk to you.
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Odleteresa, I know this is going to sound really daft but right-side heart failure is a whole different kettle of fish from the normal left ventricular heart failure, which I think I'm right in saying is the common or garden variety. To find out more about it, go to the American Heart Association's website (heart.org) where there are clear explanations of the different types of disease, their symptoms, treatment and prognoses. I haven't checked, but I expect they will also offer a leaflet in simple terms that you can print off for your mother.

Because, to get to your main question, I think if you have a look at the information aimed at patients you will be able to tell more clearly whether or not you think it is something your mother could understand, that might then help her to be a more co-operative patient. But the other thing I think you should do is sit down in private with her medical team and fully discuss your mother's options. I think somebody - yes, both Pam and Veronica, who really know their stuff - mentioned hospice. If you tell the team that your mother wants to go home to be looked after, with hospice care this could be a possibility.

I'm sad to say this, but the reality is that your mother would be going home to die. The better side of it is that she would be made comfortable and peaceful, with no stressful medical interventions. Now, whether or not your mother can understand that, and how she would react to it (she could be upset, but she might be relieved - without knowing her, how can we say?), that's something only you and your sister between you can decide.

Of course you don't have to drop the information on her from a great height, all in one go. You can answer specific questions simply and truthfully, but with tact. For example, when she can't understand why she can't get up on her own, you can tell her that she is seriously ill (true) and that there is too much water in her body's tissues (also true), which are making her weak. You don't have to add more detail than she's actually asking about.

Just a note on CPR. An ethical doctor will not carry out CPR on a patient unless it is in the patient's best interests, DNR or no DNR. CPR is a violent, frightening and painful procedure with a low success rate. To attempt it on a very sick lady of 90, whose dementia means she could not understand what was being done to her, would be cruel as well as futile. We tend to feel, when we're looking after someone we love, that we should try our hardest to keep that person alive no matter what; and so unless we insist on CPR we worry that we're not doing all we can. It's very hard, but it's really important to be logical. CPR is horrible AND it's very unlikely to work. This is not something you want to be your mother's last memory on earth. If her doctors say no, you should listen to them.
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My mom kidneys are in stage 4.
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My mom wants to go home .She can`t understand why she can`t walk are get up on her on.She is gaining weigh but they say its fluid. The Dr. told us 1 year ago she had the starting of demitia. My sister promised to never put her in a nursing home but she is 72 an unable to pick her up if she falls.Mom won`t sign papers for a dnr. But we have been told if something does happen to her that cpr could hurt her worst. She eats good but complains that they feed her to much. She has a very hard time holding her fork or spoon. They won`t put her on dialysis cause of her age and her heart. The right side of her heart isn`t working. She has a hard time understanding her therapy. She has a hard time following instruction. She really slow understanding them. The main question I want to ask is should we tell her wants wrong with her /
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PS Get a DNR as soon as possible
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What do you want for her end of life? If you want to take her home to die in peace and your are up to the task you can do this. Do you have POA for her? I assume you are not young if your Mom is 90 so are you healthy enough to do this. certainly there is no point in continuing rehab if she has not hope of recovery and she would certainly qualify for Hospice either in a NH or at home. Is she mentally competent? If she is she can decide what continuing care she wants. Was she in a NH before whatever sent her to rehab. She or you can certainly request she be moved back. the answer to your question about how long she can live is not possible to answer but with her history and age she has managed to get to 90 so something is keeping her going and the very elderly progress much more slowly than younger seniors. Talking to the dead is very common for those nearing the end of life so this could be a sign that she is nearing the begining of the end. Without knowing her general condition and by that I mean, is she thin or fat? Does she eat adequately? Is she loosing weight? Can she feed her self? Does she hold a conversation when you visit? Is she recieving dialysis? The loss of bowel control and being unaware can have many cause so is not neccessarily significant many demented patient do this.
If it is in your power I would discontinue any active treatment such as dialysis or investigations down to not having a chest x-ray if she has pneumonia and even electing not to give antbiotics for that. If not hospice have her on comfort care only and discontinue as many medications as possible. No need to treat high cholesterol or osteoporosis for example. Her comfort consists of medications for anxiety,pain nausia, acid reflux, constipation or diarrhea, not sleeping, diuretics (water pills) possibly anti coagulants, although they can be stopped. Anti diabetic drugs as long as her blood sugars are normal (if she has diabetes) definitely talk to Hospice and they will offer advice about what course of treatment is best for Mom. Whatever you do don't take on her care single handed that is a trap many find themselves caught in. Blessings
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It's really up to her. If she has a DNR, not very long. If she does not have a DNR, they will resuscitate, intubate, respirate and g tube her for years.
Rehab will only last for a few months. Then she will move to a Nursing Home.
Should she go through this? Seems a bit inhumane to me. I would be asking about Hospice care.
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What took her to rehab? How long has she been there, and what are the plans for her discharge? What medications is she on?

The initial question - how long - is something we all wonder, one way or another. I'm not sure there are ever any reassuring answers.
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