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My mom is 84, she has emphazema and a pacemaker. Over the past 10 months has been admitted to hospital 3 times. Twice we were told they didn't think she would make it because she wanted to die. She is tired and ready to pass on. On Tuesday she was admitted again due to chest pains and battling to breathe, she has pneumonia in one lung. She hasn't eaten anything since being admitted. I think she is starving herself as the last time she was in hospital a lady in her ward did exactly that, refused to eat and died. My mom said if ever she is admitted again she will do just that. She says she isn't hungry. What I would like to know is how long can someone survive without eating? Will she be in pain? She has 2 DNRs and will refuse any invasive life saving treatment.

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Yes, I agree comfort care. This is how my grandfather became and when hospice was brought in they knew exactly what was happening. The nurses were such a blessing as we all had become overwhelmed. I pray that you find comfort soon. (((hugs)))
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I'm so sorry for your situation, Lisa.

First Aid for the next 48 hours - arrange to call your sister at set times, say nine this evening, nine tomorrow morning and then after the dust has settled from tomorrow's party. If you've fixed the times in advance it will be easier to throw yourself into the "fun" (aaarggh! A houseful of excited 5-7 year olds? Rather you than me!) knowing that your sister knows that you're not forgetting them.

And you'd better agree with her, too, what she should do should anything develop in the meantime. Do you want her to let you know immediately or hold off?

Do you have back up organisers just in case?

I don't underestimate how important it is for your little girl to have fun in spite of the crisis. You must feel torn. Hugs.
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Thanks everyone, my mother is in hospital and is too ill to be discharged. I am not her caregiver, my sister is, I live 1000km from my mom and sister. I have flown down to her every time she has been admitted, but this time I am unable to as it was my little girls birthday yesterday and her party tomorrow(she is only 6). I so want to be there for my mom and sister but it is really difficult. My sister isn't really computer literate that is why I have put this query on, so I can pass the information to her. She has her husband and children (adults) for support, but unfortunately the rest of us live far away. I just feel so helpless because I cant be there for them this time.
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LISAWOOD, eventually your Mom's organs will start to shut down and that could become painful for her. With Hospice, they give comfort care to make sure your Mom isn't in any pain.

There is no cost for Hospice, as Medicare will cover everything involved, if your Mom is moved back home. But please note Hospice isn't at the house 24 hours per day, someone will need to be Mom's caregiver during that time frame.
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Hospice care can be given at home. I wasn't suggesting that she go someplace else.

Talk to her doctors and the discharge planning team about getting her discharged home with hospice care. ((((Hugs))))))
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Lisa, if you had pneumonia you wouldn't want to eat either. Imagine the ill-est you have ever felt in your life. I expect your poor mother just wants to shut her eyes and sleep.

Your mother can have hospice care at home, in theory at least, although do listen to advice about it because there may be good reasons why it isn't the best option for her. Talk to the hospital teams and find out what's possible. I'm so sorry you're going through this - do you have anyone to support you?
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My mom doesn't want to go to hospice. She wants to die at home.
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Ask about hospice care for your mom. She needs comfort care.
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