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I brought my SO home from the first SNF because she improved so significantly that I thought we could make it alone at home. She will NOT allow anyone in the home to assist. She is bipolar/manic depressive, dementia, hip dysplasia, back problems, pain med addicted. She had promised she would follow Drs. directions and take all meds as directed. That lasted about 2 days and everything has gone downhill since. I tried to stay awake 24/7 to keep her from falling, begged her to call me when she wanted to get out of bed, but every time I dosed off she would get up and fall. After several trips to ER and 3 hospital stays, I have accepted that I CAN NOT handle her alone. Told the hospital she had to go to SNF. Of course, since being in the SNF, just as before, she has improved significantly, physically and mentally. Structured environment, regular and correct meds, regular meals which she would NOT eat at home. Now, the SNF social workers want me to bring her home again or send her to assisted living facility. She cannot afford assisted living and refuses any mention of it if she could.. She goes from extreme paranoia and anger to begging to come home. She is 75, I am 71 and I can not go through this any longer, physically or mentally. I am DPOA and want to do the RIGHT thing. Have done all I can to take care of her. She feels/says I don't care about her any more. I love her dearly or I would have walked away a long time ago. My elder care attorneys say I have to "detach". My SO has the workers at the SNF buffaloed and intimidated with her behavior. She is very loud and threatening when in her aggressive stages. They don't understand it is part of her illness. She weighs 95lbs. I am afraid they will just send her back to the hospital to get rid of her. Please advise what more I should do.

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What state are you in?
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You need to make it very clear to the social workers and the administration you can no longer care for her at home. Do not let them or her guilt you into this. You've been through it and know full well it won't work. Please don't sacrifice your remaining years to an impossible situation.
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Thank you Windyridge. I needed that. It is exactly what my attorneys have been telling me.
Sunnygirl1 I am in California and my SO is Medi/Medi. insurance.
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Glossy, stay strong and good luck to you. Take care of yourself first.
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I'd listen to my attorney's advice.
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