existing vs living? Friend of mine that I have known for about a year is a great woman and 66 years old. But she is stuck in a nursing home because of poor health. She has Anemia, Diabetes, Heart Disease, and limited Kidney functionality. Daily she is restricted to only so much water which is a cup of ice usually to sip from as it melts. She is weighed every evening to make sure that she doesnt retain too much water as for too much water can be bad for heart and kidneys. She is on oxygen otherwise she gets very weak and feels like she cant breath as well. She also had issues with Anemia in which she requires transfusions or injections of a drug that skips my mind at the moment that promotes red blood cell count. She is ok when she is at a 9 but she gets very weak and tired and starts to act strange when she gets down in the 6's. She also has bipolar and takes meds for that as well. She almost died in March 2015 when at a different nursing home she tripped over a wheel chair behind a curtain and she broke her hip and pelvis. Her body started shutting down from internal bleeding and other issues as a result of the injury, and she was not expected to live. She pulled through and is better, but her quality of life is very restricted!
We are very close friends. We have shared so much to each other about each others past and present. And yesterday she stated in her own words to me that she is upset that she is EXISTING and not LIVING. Her children rarely come to visit her and she feels as though she is a burden to them. She said that maybe God will soon take her away from this all and she can rest in peace.
I tried to uplift her and help her, but I am without any ideas on how to help her. The good thing is that she is a Born Again Christian, and I confirmed with her that she did not have any thoughts of suicide.
Suicide was a concern of mine on this chat with her because she attempted suicide about 12 years ago and her husband allowed her to overdose on pills and sat watching TV knowing that she overdosed. He was a piece of trash to her and she felt trapped with him. he was very controlling. So she tried to end it all. Before she passed out she called 911. They arrived she was unconsious overdosed and they pumped her stomach and brought her back from death.
She promised me that she will not kill herself that she made a promise to God and her children that she would never do that ever again.
For the fact that I too attempted suicide years ago, I worry about her. Her and I connect very well and we are 26 years apart in age. Stories we both share very similar in our lives, and her concern for me is that I dont throw my life away and stay making the same mistakes that she made through hers. Both of us lived similar lives and I am almost where she was exactly at when she was 26 years younger.
I am looking for ways to bring excitement to her life to make her feel important and that she is living vs just existing, but I am seriously at a loss as to how to achieve this.
There was a small show at the home the other day and she met a young man in his 20s who has down syndrome and he needed help with his iPhone and she helped him and she told me it was so much fun helping him.
So I am not sure if I could somehow find something in which she could work with children or animals or anything that also is allowed with the nursing homes regulations so that she is not just sitting in a bed surfing the internet playing online games and eating her 3 meals, getting meds, and weighed in day after day feeling as if she is just existing vs living.
She gave up on having a physical real life relationship when she was set up with this other nice man there and within the first week of getting to know him at the home he died from a heart attack in his sleep.
My friendship to her is about as close as you can get without it being a in person real relationship. We both have feelings for each other, BUT, we both keep it online only. We both met on a virtual online place called Second Life and hit it off quickly playing boyfriend/girlfriend in the virtual space. It became much more than that, but we never met in real life. So we have a love for each other that is a friendship love. We both know it cant be more than that. We both enjoy our time together online and I wouldnt leave her for the world as she is a true friend. But her troubles with just Existing vs Living.... I truly want to try to help her somehow so that she isnt just existing and waiting for her dying day as she was chatting to me about.
Her one daughter visits her once a week but doesnt spend much time I have been told. I met her daughter when on skype talking with her and we have the best of times talking about funny things of our past and preset. The biggest problem is she really needs someone for her in real life and I cant be that person as for I am 800 miles away. But I have helped her before remotely with problems, and this one has me stumped. Thank you for any help on this! =)