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freqflyer: I looked up "Golden Years" and up popped the song by David Bowie. LOL!
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Well said, Windy. Don't forget the house remodeling, with mandatory granite countertops, all new stainless steel appliances, multiple bathrooms, firepit and outdoor kitchens and who know what else.

Manufacturers, distributors and retailers are making a killing off people who think they need all this stuff.
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Windyridge, schools should have taught "common sense budgeting" to their students decades ago. My parents always lived like tomorrow would be the next Great Depression, so they have lived way under their means. I also do the same plus I learned to keep stuff until it is at a point of no return. Like I will keep driving 20 year old Jeep until the wheels fall off.

My sig other daughter [40] and her husband it's another story.... they are always keeping up with the Jones's, apparently no one told them the Jones's are in major debt..... good grief, when their first child was born they had to get the same highchair that singer Brittany Spears had gotten for her child.... plus new cars every two years.... and heaven forbid the daughter can't leave the house without wearing $200 jeans. And they are looking for a McMansion to buy because their house is "too small". They have almost zero in savings.
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Llamalover47, I saw that, too. Had to laugh, one of the question websites someone asked about the term Golden Years and some young person answered that the term came from David Bowie, and that young person was serious with his/her answer.

Apparently from what I read in other research the term Golden Years is in part from the term Golden Age, which goes back to the Romans and Caesar... don't think Bowie is THAT old :P
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FF, I think your SO's daughter is fairly representative of some of what are known as the Millenials as well as others a few decades older.

I can't even begin to imagine the burden these people are going to place on the security net systems when they get to be our age. They'll probably expect nursing homes to have WiFi and free Internet accounts, IKEA furniture, and Wall Street speakers that address their portfolio management rather than musicians who provide entertainment. Maybe they'll even want branch banking in the facility as well.
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Yes Garden, and then there's the snowmobiles, four wheelers, spring break for Biff and Buffy in Daytona, the sauna and hot tub, Vegas weekend, and the family trip to Disney World that costs 15 k that was financed. And don't even get me started on the $40,000 all wheel drive, crew cab, 465 hp off road package truck that was on a gravel driveway once but mostly lives on the beltway around.....pick any city........
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Ya know, we're getting way off topic here.......We have the FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS thread, warm puppies and all that....how about a THINGS THAT JUST REALLY PISS ME OFF THREAD. whatta Y'all think?
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I thought the Golden Age was the age in which industrialists came to power, amassing huge fortunes, living very well, and building American mansions resembling European castles and manors.

It's interesting how the term has changed throughout history, especially that the Roman Empire could be considered a golden age.
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Windy, go for it!

Your comment on vehicles reminded me of the inclusion now of so many gadgets and features that aren't necessarily related to safety or better driving.

I used to think that video cameras were a waste of money, but eventually I realized that they can help older people who have become stiff and can't turn their necks easily to back up.
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There must be a siren going off like in the Stepford wives that is drawing people to all these items. Oh well, on the other side of the coin if we didn't have big spenders, the stores would go out of business and less sales taxes would be collected.

Regarding granite counter tops, one can't sell a house today without them in the kitchen and all the bathrooms. When I remodel my kitchen, I will replace my old butcher block with new butcher block... one can make just a good a sandwich on butcher block as with granite, the money saved can buy a lot of bread and cold cuts :)
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In agreement, this is a great thread, because we get to SAY some stuff!
My use of the term 'young whippersnappers' is not original to me, but maybe grandparents used that term.
When my grand-daughter was growing up, she asked me what "Behave" meant.
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She still doesn't know what it means, but I love her.
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Caregiving has made me realize that there is just not going to be any help in whatever years you want to call it: golden years, silver sneaker years, tin years. Seems like the tin-cup years may be approaching faster for many. If there is any 'golden' as in money, the NH will take it all! How can you plan for that? Just looking forward to this day, and the next, still.
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Sendme2help, "tin cup years", good one :)
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Tin cup years -- adopted! Gone are the golden years.

Good one, sendme. :)
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If caregiving for my parents has taught me anything, it's that I refuse to leave my kids in charge of my care when I reach that age. I refuse to put them in the position I've been in for the past few years. I fully plan to have it set up so that I have a guardian that I trust that will help me make the choice for NH placement or whatever is necessary when the time comes. My daughter is aware of this plan and has already objected - sorry, kiddo - my life, my choice. It's easy enough for her to say now that she would be happy to care for me when the time comes, but she has no idea what it's really like. I'm not going to do that to her.
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The gov't has already increased the age when I will be eligible for my (laughable) pension, so I think we are all expected to just keep on working. That might be OK for those doing office work, but for those of us scabbling around doing physical labour there's only so much the body can take. It's one thing to save for a rainy day, but the way things are going we will never be able to save enough no matter what we do. If assistive living costs are $5K to $10K/month now how much more will they be in 10, 20, 30 years? Millions won't be enough!
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I'm hoping to die young .
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I understand tinyblu. I have been caring for my mom, 73, for 3 years. We had a great relationship until I started caring for we full time. She has become manipulative and I feel so hateful when I have to go. What you call angry compassion. I feel so guilty for feeling so bitter towards her. I feel like a terrible daughter. But I am just done. And if modern med wasn't here she would have died 2 years ago. Instead she sits in her wheelchair all day, alone, with nothing to do. A miserable life. Again I think quality of like should be considered because we life is no way to live. I know I don't want to put my kids through this. We are in the process of finding LTC insurance.
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As far as planning goes, do most American's have $96,000/year disposable income for living at a NH in their elder years? I think our health care system needs some serious overhauling in the U.S. If putting a kid through college takes a bunch of savings for the parent for four years of post secondary education, and probably less than $96,000, how can a person afford long term care?

Health care might be a bit more affordable if the people of our nation ate responsibly and took care of their health and our insurance was a reasonable cost. Personally I end up paying $4,000 plus dollars to cover my husband's health insurance a year. That's disposable income I don't have. We haven't had to use our insurance. We also take care of our health, don't spend beyond our means either. 16 years ago I made $18,000 less per year and I had disposable income. Now living expenses are so incredibly high that I don't have that disposable income anymore - even making more money and I live even with less than I did then and do live responsibly still. Our petroleum thirst and that energy cost has driven up the cost of everything. Everyone seems to be jumping on the making the middle class dissolve into the less than, so all we have left is the "haves" and the have-nots" a push that I've seen politically since 2000.
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I think one of the toughest challenges we face is becoming more vulnerable and reliant on others for help. I lost my dad almost a year ago and even though it was really tough at times, there isn't a day when I don't miss him and my mom. As their only child, I had to hold up the fort, fight back my own tears and fears, and had to stay strong for them in order to ensure that they got their final wishes for their end of life - to remain at home, to be cared for and to be safe.

I feel pretty lucky that we had enough funds to get a little caregiver help, plus the hospice workers who helped me as much as my mom and dad. Some family members helped while others shied away. Seeing someone else in their last months, weeks and days of life isn't for everyone - it makes you look at your own death. It's inevitable. When my now husband and I buried my dad, it was just us and just wanted my dad (and my mom) wanted. Peaceful, private, and like a time-honored ritual you see in the movies where the hero is wrapped, sent out on a flat boat, then the marksmen shoot their flaming arrows into the night sky. It wasn't that dramatic, but it felt calm and honorable to the very core. Both of my parents left this earthly plane gently, with great dignity - that's what they wanted and that's what I want.

The most unconventional thing I did during my mom's last months was to get a hypnosis/regression session and it was a phenomenal life changing event. There's a saying that we're not humans having a spiritual experience, but we're spirits having a human experience. I really get that now.
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Thats so true about us being spirits having a human experience. I think if more people could realize that the world would be a different place. There is a whole spiritual realm going on around us all the time. These old bodies of ours are only temporary but the spirit goes on forever.

Having said all that it sure sucks when these old bodies start to fall apart and it would be nice if we had the choice whether to prolong this earthly human experience or not.
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LastOne, I've felt for years that financing a college education needs to be more of the student's responsibility. Each of my family put ourselves through college, including occasionally working 2 jobs when necessary.

And student loan grants need to be focused more on STEM and valuable, marketable careers so students can pay back the loans after getting jobs in fields that are needed.

As to eating healthy, there's been an interesting report that neonicitinoids have been discovered in food prepared for congressional folks. Maybe that will wake up some people to the danger of food that's not grown organically.

(rodalesorganiclife./food/study-finds-congress-food-laced-insecticides)
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Hi GardenArtist,

With all due respect, my point is that the average American cannot afford to pay for NH care. We are a poor nation actually. I am not concerned about the students affording their tuition, but merely making a point about what it takes to save for your kids college fund vs saving $96,000/year for one person to live in a NH. Folks don't have the money to live their lives as our parents did and add to that equation saving for their demise in a NH so they aren't a burden on their children or our society. I think our health care system (insurance companies, Big-Pharma, and the docs are all in bed together collecting the cash). If you think for one minute that there will be a cure for cancer and kill the goose that lays the golden egg for the above group???? Don't think so.

"...There is 1% of the Americans that control 43% of the wealth in this country. "The average annual income of the top 1 percent of the population is $717,000, compared to the average income of the rest of the population, which is around $51,000." see Forbes

As to eating healthy, I'm in agreement with you. However, the same folks who create Bayer aspirin and other medical products are producing pesticide to spray our food crops, polluting our ground water with atrizine, and promoting the use of GMO crops. The neonics in the pesticides are killing the bees and is in our food. Hmmmm....bees are needed for pollination which in turn is needed for our crops to produce our food. How many of that prosperous population care about that? Lots of lobbying going on to keep folks in the dark about GMO's and that they are in our food and which foods.

I believe we need to buckle down ourselves and actually open our eyes to see what is going on in this world and this nation BEFORE it is too late.

What about the drugs that are managing the drugs that so many people are on. I just spoke with a PT guy who said the average person he visits is on more than 12 drugs and up to 25. How can your body know what to do with all of that poison? It is said that after about 5 to 7 drugs, you will need additional drugs to manage the symptoms that the 5-7 drugs are causing a person.

It's all about the money.

LastOne
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Education is the key to getting ahead. My gosh, we have free public education for the first 12 years, yet in today's world it is not unusual to hear that only 50% of the students in large cities even graduate. Education isn't taken seriously here by many families as it is in other countries.
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My Dad lived to 93 and my Mom lived to 90. Good genes on both sides of the family except for the dementia on Mom's side. My Dad's sister died at 97, she was a widow and lived alone...she had a stroke and died that night....after mowing her yard all day. I have another aunt that soon will be 90....lives alone, takes NO medication, walks daily,,just get confused at times.

I was raised by 2 strong hard working parents. I watched them only eat the right foods, do exactly what the docs said and plenty of exercise. My Mom loved crossword puzzles (the hard ones) and my Dad loved his Braves playing baseball. They chewed gum and blew bubbles all thru each season of baseball. Even wore their Braves hats.

I watched the begin to go downhill.....because when dementia began working on my Mom, it also affected my Dad. As she went down, so did he. These 2 strong people were suddenly very humble and weak. They would freak out if someone called to try and get money, they would freak about something simple coming in the mail. It began a role reversal that I never planned in my future. My Mom would tell people that she used to be the Mom, but now she was the daughter and I was her Mom. That would just burn me a new one! But......later on, it became true. I had to make the decisions for both of them...pay their monthly bills, handle their appointments, handle their medical issues and medication. They both depended on me for everything.

I lived right next door to them, so I could be at their house in a matter of seconds if anything was wrong.....I did this for several years as well as working full time. When Mom got worse & my Dad was following.....I went to part time. It was during this time I was diagnosed with Macular Degeneration. Just another little stress factor to add on to an already growing factor. Then came the day I had to be there full time for both of them.........that lasted for 2 years and then my Dad passed and my Mom followed 5 months later.

Will I ever be the same? NO Have I changed? YES
I wonder how I will change. I saw my parents live right, eat right, get plenty of exercise and love each other to the end.
And I ask myself.....FOR WHAT? FOR WHAT? TO LIVE LONGER???? FOR WHAT? Now if I could be healthy and strong like my Aunts, I wouldn't mind. They lived alone...and didn't depend on anyone.
Now......I sit and wonder, as my eyesight keeps fading, what is going to happen to me? I don't want myself to be a burden to my son or to my husband or to ANYONE!

Enough to where I have told them to lead me to the garage, give me the key and make sure I know how to turn it on....then GOOOOO AWAY...so I can go away on my own terms....Well, neither my husband or my son agrees to this...but I do not want them to go thru this....I never want them to feel these feelings that I have dealt with or the emotional merry go round that you can never exit.

Be the same????? NEVER!
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Shaddy its hard I know. Sometimes I wish I'd never found this sight cause of all the sad stories that really don't have a happy ending.

Feel happy that you were able to care for your parents and as far as what the future holds. Well I've decided I can clench my fists and freak out about whats going to happen or just live in the moment. I figure I'll just try living in the moment cause the alternative is to spend each day dreading my old age which is going to come no matter what I do. And it might not. I might get killed crossing the street tomorrow. So why worry about something that may never happen. Thats how I get by anyways.
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site not sight :)
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Gershun, you are right. I need not dwell on the future....I need to learn to live for the day and rejoice in it. I will get there!

As for the site being sad, oh yeah! After I lost my parents, I posted maybe once or twice. Then I deleted my account. I wasn't coming back. (whatever).....Then slowly I began coming back, maybe trying to find answers or maybe be with people who understood. The site wouldn't let me sign back in under the same name and password....but I was hoping someone would remember me. We hold each other up!
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Yes we do hold each other up. I find that trying to help other people get through tough times helps me as well. I think I'm making progress and then something comes along that reminds me so much of my Mom my heart just aches. One day at a time..........
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